Hey, pass me that crowbar, please.
Sure... y’know, before the crowbar was invented, crows had to drink at home.
Puns
What activity do nuns and whores have in common?
Answer: Genuflection.
What is King Kong for dinner?
Humans.
No, I don't want to.
Why did that fish cross the road?
Just for the halibut (hell of it)!
I learned that a strangler was targeting me.
All I could think was, "You’ve got to be choking me!"
Hey, wanna hear a construction joke?
- Sure.
Oh sorry, I'm still working on it :-]
You have been a bad boy, so now I will have to pun-ish you!
Who do you call to clean up foul language?
A cuss-todian!
Yeoooo.
What do hospitals do when they receive donor organs? They organize them.
Why did the man yell at the other? To tell a pun.
My Butterfingers slipped.
Pete: Knock, knock...
Paul: Who's there?
Pete: Boo...
Paul: Boo who?
Pete: Don't cry, it was only a joke!
Paul: I'm going to cry! It was such a bad joke!!!
Why did the first fence hate the other fence?
The second fence used some of-fensive language.
My friend tried to sleep on napkins.
I guess that's why they're called NAP-kins.
Wanna hear a pizza joke?
Never mind, it's too cheesy.
Last night I slipped on a banana.
My friend said it was a-peeling!
Here's a good tree joke to spruce up your day!
I forgot what lightning was. Then it struck me.
