Puns
So, some ants in a colony go to war. They want some more troops and know that there are ants that went to wars as well. They call them war-ants.
They start barging into homes to search for more war-ants. They barge into a home, and the lady-ant goes, "Hey, why are you here? Can you please leave?" One of the ants replies with, "I'm sorry, but unless you have a war-ant, we have to keep searching your house."
Have you heard of the book about the transgender whale?
It’s called "Maybe Dick."
Have you heard the joke about the paper?
Never mind, it's tear-able.
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it!
Armless child: Can you give me a hand??
Me: Ok.
I went on a one in a lifetime vacation. Never again!
What’s the point in a cow going to the cinema? To be a-moo-sed!
Velcro is such a rip-off.
lolololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololol
I sucked a dick.
What was the most famous skeleton detective in the world? Sherlock Bones!
Why did the man laugh when he only had just one nickel and one penny in his pocket?
He had a 6 cents of humor.
What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho cheese. Okay, I can't do this anymore.
The History of the Star Spangled Banner. By Jose Cannusee.
How do you drown a Blonde? You put a scratch and sniff sticker in a pool.
Fuck off!
What did the watch say to the failing watch company?
"You better watch it!"
What do you say to your pet when you're super tired, slow, and worn out?
"I'm totally dogging it today..."
My life.
What are fish not allowed to have?
Seaweed.