Puns
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Who.
Who who.
You sound like an owl.
I know people don’t really like cat puns, but mine are PURRety good.
Did you CATch that one? No? Because you are in a bad mood? You should WISKER those feelings away. We should PAWnder ways to fix your mood. Just remember to keep CLAWing at the problem. I am glad I can help MEW.
I own a pencil that used to be owned by William Shakespeare, but he chewed it a lot.
Now I can't tell if it's 2B or not 2B.
What do you call a field of masturbating cattle?
Beef strokin' off.
What mountain do people like to race on?
Mount Rushmore.
Get it?
There's nothing else that can beat up dog.
What's up, dog?
Just my depression!
Why couldn’t the kitten watch the movie? It had a violent cat-e-gory.
I had an animal pun contest today. He started off by saying something. I don’t remember.
Then I replied, “TOUCAN play that game.” He went silent, and my other friend barged in and said, “Don’t you think he’s CHICKENing out?” I said, “Yeah, just stop HORSING around!” He came back with one, and I ended it by saying, “Ok, let’s MOOOOOve on cow.”
Welp, that’s it.
What has a heart but no organs?
A deck of cards!
A cowboy rides into a ranch on Sunday, stays three days, and leaves on Friday. How is this possible?
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef! XD
Did you hear about the guy who died by lethal injection and writhed on the stretcher for 20 minutes?
I guess it really IS all in the execution.
What did the mermaid wear for math class?
Algaebra.
Why is arson so fun?
IT'S A FIRE ACTIVITY!
HAHAHAHAHAHAPAHAAHAHIIRTAASIISISISHRNHHTHTHTHHNHSHSNIHTAHE
Day 83 of being trapped in þis room. I made a language. I call it hertof. I speak wiþ þe walls now.
Q: A guy walks into a bar, what does he say?
A: Ow!
I have some jokes about popcorn.
Nah, they're too corny.
I don’t like stairs. They are always up to something.
What do you call a chicken that catches ghosts? A poultrygeist.
Why tie when you can knot?
I told my friend to look at the clock, then I said, "Is this a bad time?"