Puns

I walked into a store, and I pointed a stick to the roof and said, "This is a stick up!"

What should you use to battle a T-Rex?

A dino-sword.

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Who.

Who who.

You sound like an owl.

There's nothing else that can beat up dog.

What's up, dog?

Just my depression!

What do you call a field of masturbating cattle?

Beef strokin' off.

Why couldn’t the kitten watch the movie? It had a violent cat-e-gory.

I had an animal pun contest today. He started off by saying something. I don’t remember.

Then I replied, “TOUCAN play that game.” He went silent, and my other friend barged in and said, “Don’t you think he’s CHICKENing out?” I said, “Yeah, just stop HORSING around!” He came back with one, and I ended it by saying, “Ok, let’s MOOOOOve on cow.”

Welp, that’s it.

What has a heart but no organs?

A deck of cards!

A cowboy rides into a ranch on Sunday, stays three days, and leaves on Friday. How is this possible?

What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef! XD

Have you ever seen the Pokemon called Ryh... Rhydon these nuts?

Why do orphans hate dad jokes? They never return.

What did the mermaid wear for math class?

Algaebra.

Hana?

I wanna tell you a scary math joke, but I'm too squared to tell you.

What's the difference between the Grand Canyon and a blonde?

The Grand Canyon is a busy ditch.

I would tell you my jokes about pogs, but they would eventually get too boar-ing.

What did one bee say to the other bee?

"I love you, honey!"

I have so many cash machine jokes.

But none of them seem to work ATM.

"I only eat food on the right of my plate."

"Are you good at eating?"

"I'm alright at eating."