Puns

Why are eggs bad at puns?

They always mix up their yolks!

What mountain do people like to race on?

Mount Rushmore.

Get it?

I walked into a store, and I pointed a stick to the roof and said, "This is a stick up!"

There's nothing else that can beat up dog.

What's up, dog?

Just my depression!

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Who.

Who who.

You sound like an owl.

What should you use to battle a T-Rex?

A dino-sword.

I own a pencil that used to be owned by William Shakespeare, but he chewed it a lot.

Now I can't tell if it's 2B or not 2B.

I know people don’t really like cat puns, but mine are PURRety good.

Did you CATch that one? No? Because you are in a bad mood? You should WISKER those feelings away. We should PAWnder ways to fix your mood. Just remember to keep CLAWing at the problem. I am glad I can help MEW.

What do you call a field of masturbating cattle?

Beef strokin' off.

Why couldn’t the kitten watch the movie? It had a violent cat-e-gory.

I had an animal pun contest today. He started off by saying something. I don’t remember.

Then I replied, “TOUCAN play that game.” He went silent, and my other friend barged in and said, “Don’t you think he’s CHICKENing out?” I said, “Yeah, just stop HORSING around!” He came back with one, and I ended it by saying, “Ok, let’s MOOOOOve on cow.”

Welp, that’s it.

A cowboy rides into a ranch on Sunday, stays three days, and leaves on Friday. How is this possible?

What has a heart but no organs?

A deck of cards!

What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef! XD

Have you ever seen the Pokemon called Ryh... Rhydon these nuts?

Why do orphans hate dad jokes? They never return.

Random person: "What's one thing your ex gave you that you can't get rid of?"

Man: *Shows a picture of his child.*

I wanna tell you a scary math joke, but I'm too squared to tell you.

Hana?

What did one bee say to the other bee?

"I love you, honey!"