Puns

What mountain do people like to race on?

Mount Rushmore.

Get it?

I walked into a store, and I pointed a stick to the roof and said, "This is a stick up!"

I own a pencil that used to be owned by William Shakespeare, but he chewed it a lot.

Now I can't tell if it's 2B or not 2B.

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Who.

Who who.

You sound like an owl.

What should you use to battle a T-Rex?

A dino-sword.

I know people don’t really like cat puns, but mine are PURRety good.

Did you CATch that one? No? Because you are in a bad mood? You should WISKER those feelings away. We should PAWnder ways to fix your mood. Just remember to keep CLAWing at the problem. I am glad I can help MEW.

There's nothing else that can beat up dog.

What's up, dog?

Just my depression!

What do you call a field of masturbating cattle?

Beef strokin' off.

Why couldn’t the kitten watch the movie? It had a violent cat-e-gory.

I had an animal pun contest today. He started off by saying something. I don’t remember.

Then I replied, “TOUCAN play that game.” He went silent, and my other friend barged in and said, “Don’t you think he’s CHICKENing out?” I said, “Yeah, just stop HORSING around!” He came back with one, and I ended it by saying, “Ok, let’s MOOOOOve on cow.”

Welp, that’s it.

A cowboy rides into a ranch on Sunday, stays three days, and leaves on Friday. How is this possible?

What has a heart but no organs?

A deck of cards!

What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef! XD

Have you ever seen the Pokemon called Ryh... Rhydon these nuts?

Why do orphans hate dad jokes? They never return.

Boss: How good are you at PowerPoint?

Me: I Excel at it.

Boss: Was that a Microsoft pun?

Me: Word.

Random person: "What's one thing your ex gave you that you can't get rid of?"

Man: *Shows a picture of his child.*

Hana?

I wanna tell you a scary math joke, but I'm too squared to tell you.

What did one bee say to the other bee?

"I love you, honey!"