Puns
What does a glass of water ask a pond?
"Water you doing?"
What does the pond answer?
"Pondering life."
You know where I get my soda? Mini-soda.
Yeoooo.
Q. What do you get when you blindfold a racist?
A. A Notsee.
If a kid does not go to sleep during nap time, isn't he resisting a rest?
I’m reading a book about Anti-Gravity. It’s impossible to put down!
What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta!
What did the 0 say to the 8?
"Nice belt."
Credit to my boy tippecanoe3 for this joke.
What do you call it when Panera isn’t hungry?
Panera fed.
Credit to RogueRobot for this one:
What does Panera sleep in?
Panera bed.
I'm listening to a song about fish--it's very catchy.
Why was the obtuse angle hot?
It was more than 90 degrees.
I'm so smart, wanna know why? Because you're gay.
Adding a "gl" in front of "camping" doesn't make it any better.
If you add a "gl" in front of "Adolf Hitler," it doesn't make him a great guy.
What side of the sidewalk do crazy people walk on? The psych-o-path.
What flour do orphans use?
Self-raising flour.
What do you do when a Panera Bread panera breads?
Panera Bread.
I met a drum circle once, they were a huge hit!
A pair of souls were floating up to heaven when they passed a pair of eagles.
"Ah, eagles," said the souls. The eagles were too polite to say anything.
Q: What did Tim say when his girlfriend fell down a rabbit hole?
A: Hole-y shit!
Why couldn’t the kitten watch the movie? It had a violent cat-e-gory.