Puns

How does Skeletor feel after He-Man beats him up?

Skelesore.

What do you call a chicken that catches ghosts? A poultrygeist.

Why tie when you can knot?

What is Bill Gates’ favorite equation?

1 + 1 =

I don’t like stairs. They are always up to something.

Bill was on a hill. What a hillbilly!

Who are voting for this election? I'm voting for Tricity, so vote for Tricity. Electricity!

My dignity to live.

Patient: Doctor, I feel like a needle.

Doctor: I see your point!

Why don't Jedi like their female relatives?

Because they are Sith-ters.

I need to get new shoes; one of these isn’t right.

Knock knock. Who's there? Ach. Ach who? Bless you!

What did the skeleton play when he joined the band?

A tromBONE.

I searched on Google, "How to start a wildfire?"

I got 39,300,000 matches.

What did the pencil say to the other pencil?

Your looking sharp!

Someone handed me a knife the other day and told me that it was very smart.

I made sure it didn't outsmart me.

I have so many cash machine jokes.

But none of them seem to work ATM.

How can you help a llama on holiday?

Alpaca your bags.

"I only eat food on the right of my plate."

"Are you good at eating?"

"I'm alright at eating."

What's a skeleton's favorite instrument?

A tromboner.