What do you call a chicken that catches ghosts? A poultrygeist.
Puns
Why tie when you can knot?
When is a door not a door?
When it’s ajar!
What is Bill Gates’ favorite equation?
1 + 1 =
I don’t like stairs. They are always up to something.
Bill was on a hill. What a hillbilly!
Who are voting for this election? I'm voting for Tricity, so vote for Tricity. Electricity!
My dignity to live.
Patient: Doctor, I feel like a needle.
Doctor: I see your point!
Why don't Jedi like their female relatives?
Because they are Sith-ters.
I need to get new shoes; one of these isn’t right.
Knock knock. Who's there? Ach. Ach who? Bless you!
What did the skeleton play when he joined the band?
A tromBONE.
I searched on Google, "How to start a wildfire?"
I got 39,300,000 matches.
What did the pencil say to the other pencil?
Your looking sharp!
Someone handed me a knife the other day and told me that it was very smart.
I made sure it didn't outsmart me.
I have so many cash machine jokes.
But none of them seem to work ATM.
How can you help a llama on holiday?
Alpaca your bags.
"I only eat food on the right of my plate."
"Are you good at eating?"
"I'm alright at eating."
What's a skeleton's favorite instrument?
A tromboner.
