Puns
Knock knock. Who's there? Ach. Ach who? Bless you!
Which legendary Dutch wanderer slept for twenty years, except when he got up to pee?
Rip Van Tinkle.
I have no puns because I don't play soccer.
What did the angler say to his students at the end of his fishing class?
Catch you later!
I lost my job making storage units for the police after a week. I guess you could say it was a brief case.
What do you call a wild party in a bamboo forest?
Panda-monium!
What did the ferret say after his family was questioned by police?
It's none of your business!
Why did the chili blush?
Because it was so hot!
Q: What is the opposite of 'Dominos'?
A: Domi doesn't know!
So I went to the gym and I found a hymn.
He: I'm Nike, and you're McDonalds.
She: Why?
He: 'Cause I'm doing it, and you're loving it. :)
I'd tell a science joke, but I was like, "Nah, it would get no reaction."
I searched on Google, "How to start a wildfire?"
I got 39,300,000 matches.
What did the pencil say to the other pencil?
Your looking sharp!
Tell all the skeleton jokes you want, but I've got thick skin.
What's the difference between the Grand Canyon and a blonde?
The Grand Canyon is a busy ditch.
I would tell you my jokes about pogs, but they would eventually get too boar-ing.
A dog talks to another dog and says,
"Wow, you're a hot dog!"
I have a joke about construction.
I'm still working on it.
I have some jokes about popcorn.
Nah, they're too corny.