Poop

What did one poop say to the other poop? What's the matter? You look flushed!

Couple

A gay couple and a lesbian couple are going to the airport, which one gets there first? The lesbian, duh, they get there "lickety-split."

Atom

Why did the electron leave the atom?

Because it wanted to be Argon.

Fandom

Sans: What is Todoroki's favorite coffee creamer?

Half n' Half hehe.

Papyrus: Sans! He's not even part of our fandom!!!

Sans: Bro don't get so HOT headed about it. Just CHILL.

Sorry not sorry -sans

Yolk

My eggcellent egg yolks crack everyone up.

If you don't like them, you're just hard boiled.

Cheese

If you want any pictures of cheese for your laptop, I've got enough to Philadelphia.

Fish

Yesterday I asked my friend, "What is a fish without eyes?"

They replied, "I don’t know."

I said, "Fsh."

Boat

Once there was a boat. Its friends said,

"It's time to come back." And the boat said,

"No way. I don't give into pier pressure."

Skeleton

How did the skeleton know it was gonna rain?

If you said he felt it in his bones, you're wrong. He watched the weather forecast.

Concussion

My neighbor is in the Guinness World Records.

He has had 44 concussions. He lives very close to me.

A stone’s throw away, in fact.

Blonde

How do you drown a Blonde? You put a scratch and sniff sticker in a pool.

Stick up

I walked into a store, and I pointed a stick to the roof and said, "This is a stick up!"