Make like a drum and beat it!
Puns
Student: Hey! Did you hear the joke about the three holes in the ground?
Teacher: No?
Student: All I can say about it is, "Well, well, well."
To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
My eggcellent egg yolks crack everyone up.
If you don't like them, you're just hard boiled.
Why do cats like to sing? They're very mewsical!
Why are eggs bad at puns?
They always mix up their yolks!
What do you call a country with nukes?
Abomination.
How did the skeleton know it was gonna rain?
If you said he felt it in his bones, you're wrong. He watched the weather forecast.
What animal lies? A lion.
If you want any pictures of cheese for your laptop, I've got enough to Philadelphia.
Yesterday I asked my friend, "What is a fish without eyes?"
They replied, "I don’t know."
I said, "Fsh."
Once there was a boat. Its friends said,
"It's time to come back." And the boat said,
"No way. I don't give into pier pressure."
I am up in the air about becoming a pilot.
How do you drown a Blonde? You put a scratch and sniff sticker in a pool.
What mountain do people like to race on?
Mount Rushmore.
Get it?
There's nothing else that can beat up dog.
What's up, dog?
Just my depression!
I own a pencil that used to be owned by William Shakespeare, but he chewed it a lot.
Now I can't tell if it's 2B or not 2B.
I walked into a store, and I pointed a stick to the roof and said, "This is a stick up!"
I know people don’t really like cat puns, but mine are PURRety good.
Did you CATch that one? No? Because you are in a bad mood? You should WISKER those feelings away. We should PAWnder ways to fix your mood. Just remember to keep CLAWing at the problem. I am glad I can help MEW.
What do you call a field of masturbating cattle?
Beef strokin' off.
