Puns
Why is Peter Pan always flying? He Neverlands!
Where do sheep go to get their hair cut? The baa-baa shop.
Why did Adele cross the road? To sing, “Hello from the other side!”
How do trees access the internet? They log in.
Did you get them? Me neither. I mean, it is worst jokes ever. I'm kidding, I actually do understand them.
Have you heard about the animal that was made of a human hand?
It's an ARMadillo.
I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high.
She looked at me surprised.
(P.S. I am not at that age plus I am as straight as a helix ruler.)
Student: Hey! Did you hear the joke about the three holes in the ground?
Teacher: No?
Student: All I can say about it is, "Well, well, well."
Where did the eye doctor keep all his kittens? On Cat-A-Racks!
My girlfriend said she wanted to be pampered. I told her I wasn't into diaper fetishes.
Make like a drum and beat it!
To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
A gay couple and a lesbian couple are going to the airport, which one gets there first? The lesbian, duh, they get there "lickety-split."
Why did the electron leave the atom?
Because it wanted to be Argon.
What did one poop say to the other poop? What's the matter? You look flushed!
Sans: What is Todoroki's favorite coffee creamer?
Half n' Half hehe.
Papyrus: Sans! He's not even part of our fandom!!!
Sans: Bro don't get so HOT headed about it. Just CHILL.
Sorry not sorry -sans
My eggcellent egg yolks crack everyone up.
If you don't like them, you're just hard boiled.
Why do cats like to sing? They're very mewsical!
If you want any pictures of cheese for your laptop, I've got enough to Philadelphia.
Once there was a boat. Its friends said,
"It's time to come back." And the boat said,
"No way. I don't give into pier pressure."
I am up in the air about becoming a pilot.
Yesterday I asked my friend, "What is a fish without eyes?"
They replied, "I don’t know."
I said, "Fsh."
What animal lies? A lion.
What do you call a country with nukes?
Abomination.