Puns

What's a delinquent mitten's favorite sport?

Badminton.

We went running on our camping trip. It was past tents.

What bathroom does a trumpet go to?

The brass room...

The invention of the shovel was groundbreaking.

- Hey, are you single?

- No, I'm album.

I once had an owl who I thought it would fly away.

The man was absolutely delighted to find that every lamp in his house was stolen.

I can tell you an airplane joke, but it will probably fly over your head.

Why did the duck get arrested? For selling quack.

I'd make a joke about Noble Gases, but I probably wouldn't get much of a reaction.

This is supposed to be worst puns but most of them are not puns.

How do you fix an igloo?

With Iglue.

You know why I have so low IQ? It's because the left side of my brain gets nothing right, and the right side of my brain has nothing left.

Friend: My bike doesn't have a kick stand, so it can't stand up.

Me: Nah, it's just two tired.

My friend broke his tie. That's a tie breaker.

Hello.

What did the store manager say when they ran out of toilet paper?

We’re wiped out!

My dad and I were talking and my cat left the room.

So I said, "I guess she wasn't feline it."

My dad said, "You've got to be kitten me, that was purrfect!"

I said, "Literally."

What did the cow call its own life? An udder mistake.

What is Beethoven's favorite fruit?

A Ba-na-na-na! (To the tune of Beethoven's 5th symphony)