Puns

How do you fix an igloo?

With Iglue.

- Hey, are you single?

- No, I'm album.

I once had an owl who I thought it would fly away.

What's a delinquent mitten's favorite sport?

Badminton.

What bathroom does a trumpet go to?

The brass room...

I can tell you an airplane joke, but it will probably fly over your head.

We went running on our camping trip. It was past tents.

The invention of the shovel was groundbreaking.

So you know "The Lion King."

Do you remember Simba?

Well, his dad is really strong, and he walks really fast, but Simba walks really slow.

So I told him to Mufasa.

Not all cat puns are purr-fect; some just have their claws.

My dad and I were talking and my cat left the room.

So I said, "I guess she wasn't feline it."

My dad said, "You've got to be kitten me, that was purrfect!"

I said, "Literally."

I dropped my phone the other day when a guy picked up my phone and started to put it in his pocket.

I said, "Hey, that's my phone," and he said, "First of all, my name isn't 'Hey', it's Jay. Second of all, it's an iPhone, not a 'myPhone'. Get it right."

Seven days without a pun makes one weak.

My friend broke his tie. That's a tie breaker.

What did the cow call its own life? An udder mistake.

Hello.

What did the skeleton get when he saw goth girls?......A boner.

A man is sitting in a chair. He is talking to the other friend about what they must cherish.

One says he cherishes his family, the other cherishes his parents, and a man comes in, points at the chair and says, “I CHAIRish my Chair” as he pulls up a chair.

What is Beethoven's favorite fruit?

A Ba-na-na-na! (To the tune of Beethoven's 5th symphony)

A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal.

Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."