Puns

If Adolf starred in the Room, his most iconic line would be “I did not Hitler! I did not!”

My eggcellent egg yolks crack everyone up.

If you don't like them, you're just hard boiled.

I rolled over a log and underneath was a tiny little stick, and I was like, "That log had a child!"

A list of Sans puns would be Sans-tastic!

Robin: "The car's not working."

Batman: "Did you check the battery?"

Robin: "What's a tery?"

I was gonna tell you a pun about a bin but,

bin there, done that.

A skeleton walks into a bar and said it takes "backbone" to mess with me, and if you try to insult me, I have thick skin.

Some babies may be delivered via stork, but some bigger babies are gonna need a crane.

I despise lumberjacks. They are always barking up the wrong tree, all bark and no bite.

They just need to leaf people alone or stick with something nicer.

What do you call a person who's afraid of Santa?

Klaustrophobic.

I had the best butterfingers yesterday.

I dropped it.

What did the mommy tomato tell the little tomato?

You better ketchup!

What did the two paintings say after a long battle?

Let's call this one a draw.

What did the sand say when it got into a fight with the ocean?

"Oh my God, you're such a beach!"

What do you call your mom when she goes into the shower?

A shower ma! (shawarma)

What's better than a meme? A really good Vine.

I have a really good joke.

Do you want to hear it?

Oh wait, this is a bad joke website.

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven ate nine!

When do you know you are getting a good deal on a boat? -- When there's a sail on it.

I have a really good construction joke, but I’ll have to post it later because I’m still working on it.