I met a rock the other day. He was a very gneiss guy.
Puns
One time, I bought a magnet. My wife asked why I bought it. I said I couldn't help myself; I felt attracted to it.
What's the difference between broccoli & boogers?
People don't eat their broccoli.
Why was the chef embarrassed?
He saw the salad dressing.
What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?
"SUPPLIES!"
Guys, I'm sorry about these bad puns. I should've kept my big Meowth shut.
Where do Dairy Queen and Burger King go after dinner?
White Castle.
I would tell you a joke about pizza,
but it's too cheesy.
I'm taking a guitar lesson at school. My band instructor told me he was going to hit me with my guitar. I asked him if that was a fret.
What do you call a pile of cats? A MEOW-tain.
What do you call a gay scientist? Stephen Hawqueen.
Am I in Florida, because I'm triggered?
Don't trust the atoms, because they make up everything.
Why can't you tell a joke in a corn maze?
Because there's too many ears.
Geology rocks!
pussi
What’s a peedophile’s favorite shoes? White vans.
What's grey and can't fly?
A parking lot.
So, some thieves robbed me the other day. They took everything I owned, except for the soap, towels, and deodorant.
Dirty bastards.
You know why I hate paper? It's TEAR-able to the environment.
