Punishment jokes
While playing in the backyard, Little Johnny kills a honeybee. His father sees him killing the honeybee and angrily says, “No honey for you for one month!”
Later that afternoon, Johnny’s dad catches him tearing the wings off a butterfly. “That’s it! No butter for you for one month!” says his dad.
Later that evening as Johnny’s mother cooks dinner, a cockroach runs across the kitchen floor. She jumps and stomps on it, and then looks up to find Little Johnny and her husband watching her. Little Johnny looks at his father and says, “Are you going to tell her, Dad, or do you want me to?”
Why do homeless people commit crimes?
They get a bed in jail.
Islamic pubs and bars are the worst.
You can't drink alcohol or dance.
Women can get stoned though, no questions asked.
Last night I burned down an orphanage.
There was one survivor who said I would regret it. I said, "What are you gonna do, tell your parents?"
How does a blonde punish her blind son? She takes away his TV privileges.
How does a blonde punish her deaf son? She takes away his telephone privileges.
How does a blonde punish her paraplegic son? She gives him a spanking.
Why is Jeffrey Epstein so bad at races?
Because he comes in a little behind.
How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?
They put doorknobs on a wall and said, "Open the door."
Me going to jail for telling the orphan he has 363 days because mothers and Father’s Day.
If you kill someone, that's murder.
If you kill a family member, that's still murder.
If you kill a child, that's "child abuse."
In middle school, we had to create words with magnet letters. Some kid laid the word "Animal Therapist". I changed one space and got sent home :/
My mom said, "You are in big trouble!"
I said, "Are you going to punish me?"
Good that you got detention because you said that to me; you should've gone to jail.
My grandma used to beat the hell out of me for coming home late. Guess who's late now?
Girl: Daddy, I've been a bad girl.
Priest: For the last time, it's "Father, I have sinned."
Why did the MOSFET go to jail?
It had a charge for battery.
What do you call a man off the ground?
Hanged.
When I see the little brother in a video get everything, I try it and get grounded ;-;
What happens when a battery commits a crime? They get charged!
The teacher of the ELA class said that whoever answers this next question gets to go home. Then a kid sitting next to the window threw his bag out the window. Teacher asked who threw that, he said, "Me, I'm going home." Before he could move the teacher pointed a ruler at him and said, "At the end of this ruler is an idiot," he got suspended for asking which end.
About to go on a date.
But she was late.
So I got some tape.
And eventually punished her with rape.