Punishment jokes
Sending gay men to prison makes no sense to me. I mean, you have sex with a man and then they lock you up with a bunch of other men.
That would be like arresting someone for drunk driving and forcing them to become a bartender.
About to go on a date.
But she was late.
So I got some tape.
And eventually punished her with rape.
Did you hear about the two burglars that stole a calendar?
I hear they got six months each.
What does 9 and 36 add up to?
A life in prison.
Whoever invented school, I hope you burn in hell.
A man in Saudi Arabia was caught stealing hand sanitiser.
The silver lining for him is that he will not need hand sanitiser anymore!
What does the pedophile use for bait? Trix!
How does a blonde punish her blind son? She takes away his TV privileges.
How does a blonde punish her deaf son? She takes away his telephone privileges.
How does a blonde punish her paraplegic son? She gives him a spanking.
I made a deal with Satan. I would get a free pass to hell if I serve as a demon lord. So, see you guys at the end of times!
Lynching is just another word for "hanging around."
Good that you got detention because you said that to me; you should've gone to jail.
Ya make 10 paintings, you aren't an artist.
Ya make 20 meals, you aren't a chef.
But when I kill ONE PERSON, I'm a "horrible person" and a "menace to society."
I was checking my shoe in my dad's wallet, and he slapped me. What exactly did I do to warrant the slap?
How did the man in prison escape?
He drew a bum on the wall and slid through the crack.
How do you punish a blind kid?
Rearrange the furniture.
Last time I got caught stealing a calendar, I got 12 months.
You know why the teacher punished Dairy Milk?
Answer: Because he was choco_'late' to school.
Why did the credit card go to jail?
'Cuz it was guilty as charged!
How would Steven Hawking's mom punish him as a kid?
Power off his chair.
What happens when you throw an underage boy between two Catholic priests?
They fight and... You know the rest.