The 40+ Best Discipline Jokes

What did Stevie Wonder's mom do to punish him as a child? She rearranged all the furniture.

Why can’t an orphan get suspended or expelled from school? Because they need to contact parents.

One day I came home from school and said to my dad 'I got expelled from school today' he said ' how' I said I threw my book at the teacher' he asked why' I told him we were doing an anti-bullying program and my teacher said words can't hurt me so I threw my dictionary at her. '

"Sir, I'm afraid your son can't attend our swimming lessons anymore."

"Why not?"

"He keeps peeing in the pool."

"Well, all kids pee in the pool."

"Not from the diving board!"

the teacher told me to put my MP3 away so i brought out my MP5, now that bitch knows what not to tell me

girl: daddy ive been a bad girl priest: for the last time its father I have sinned

How do parents punish a blind kid? They rearrange the furniture.

teacher: if u keep talking over me i'll call your parents! Orphan: YOU WILL?

The Good Old Days > You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman: Stuff you pay good money for in later life.

What do you call an act of “funny” discipline? A PUN-ishment!

Slavery and disciplinen it's kind of the same thing you get whipped for doing the wrong thing

Little Natalie was playing with matches. Her mother caught her, took them, whupped her and told her never to play with matches again. A few minutes later, Little Natalie was playing with matches again. The curtains caught fire and the house burned down. Another few minutes later, when she and her mother were sitting at their neighbors, her mother told her: If you think I gave you a whupping, wait till your father gets home! Little Natalie just cackled with delight, because she knew her father had gotten home earlier and gone upstairs to take a nap.

Little Johnny was playing with his train and said all you motherf*ckers who want to get off get off and all you motherf*ckers who want to get on get on his mother here's him and said is that you cussing. The mother said go to your room for 1 hour little Johnny goes to his room then little johnny comes back one hour later and said all you motherf*ckers who wanna get off get off and all you motherf*ckers who wanna get on get on and if you wanna know about the 1 hour delay go ask the b*tch in the kitchen.