Why can't orphans be criminals?
Because there never wanted.
What do you call the Gray Man in an electric chair? Fried Fish.
When you get suspended from school for giving the deaf kid AirPods for his birthday.
I took my son to a driver's school and am surprised because he got his license but soon lost the privilege to drive a car because he ran over my ex on "accident."
(I gotta go pay him out of jail!)
I lit a retirement home on fire so that all the seniors can be cremated for free.
Karma is like rape.
What goes around comes around, like a dead rape victim in a whirlpool.
My mom said, "You are in big trouble!"
I said, "Are you going to punish me?"
If a kid refused to go to bed, does that make them guilty of resisting a rest?
Why did the MOSFET go to jail?
It had a charge for battery.
Three Europeans head to an island. They are captured by the island people. They are going to kill them, and they plead. They grant them a chance to live. The island people tell them to grab a fruit from the tribe's garden and bring it back, then to follow the task at hand.
The first guy brings back a peach. The island leader says, "Stick it up your ass. If you laugh, you die." The first guy shoves it up his ass and laughs, so they kill him. The second guy brings a grape, he does the same and laughs, making them kill him.
The first two are in heaven together. "Peaches are fuzzy, so I laughed. How the hell did you die? You had a grape!" says the first guy. The second guy replied, "It didn't tickle at all. I laughed at the sight [of] the third guy was bringing over a pineapple."
I really want to beat the living daylights out of you, but it's not worth getting the wooden spoon for garbage.
I got detention one day. I don’t know why; I only slapped the emo kid on the wrist.
How do you punish Helen Keller? Just move the couch.
I caught my wife cheating on me.
I beat my son and grounded him.
The extra detention didn't do much, but the extra chromosome definitely did.
When your grades get mailed to your house when you expect to get them in school.
When you get home, your mom is there with the belt, going 1k miles per hour.
They're not jokes, they're notes now, get me?
I am in trouble.
What is the difference between an orphan and a non- orphan, you can slap the orphan but not the non- orphan because they can actually tell their parents
A man is on his deathbed in prison by electric chair.
The man who controls the chair asks for any last words.
The prisoner replies with: “Can you hold my hand?”
What would you like as your last meal?
Fried chicken. Extra crispy.
