Why aren't orphans scared of getting in trouble at school?
Because they can't call their parents.
This pun is so bad you're gonna punch me.
It's quite ironic that people tell you "Happy Birthday," then they want to give you a spanking.
Why do homeless people commit crimes?
They get a bed in jail.
How do you ground a person in a wheelchair?
Take off the wheels!
What does a cop say when they shoot ginger?
"Orange is the new black."
Me: Hi Jacob!
Jacob: Hi.
Me: Your parents went to jail for littering when you were born!
Jacob: GOO GOO GAH GAH
When I see the little brother in a video get everything, I try it and get grounded ;-;
How do you punish Helen Keller?
Leave the plunger in the toilet.
Why do orphans commit crimes?
It’s the only time they’re ever wanted.
A priest asks a convicted murderer on the electric chair, "Do you have any last request?"
"Yes," said the murderer, "Will you hold my hand?"
I heard Kobe was writing a book about helicopters, but it just wouldn't land with people...
I know, I'm going to hell!
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 murdered 37 children and 41 adults during the ages of 31-35 years old.
She was then sentenced to a 35 year sentence (Colombian stuff) and came out 70 years old. She then continued to go on a spree and murder 41 more people, in 2 months. 3 years later, 6 stabbed 7 as they were friends. 6 was not sentenced, but deemed a hero. He never forgets that moment. Her soul not floating above, but screaming from the torture it's receiving.
What’s the only victimless crime you can commit? Murder, cause there’s a victim less!
Please help, my dad is an addict. He won't stop, and he eats my food.
Sometimes I think, should I kill him? But nah, he will go down with the others who did that too.
Why did the skeleton not listen to the rules?
He was "bone tiba wild."
I saw a dad shave his daughter's head because she made fun of a woman with cancer.
Good thing she didn’t make fun of a pregnant woman 🤭
Today I went to the doctor for a test, and he said I have 10 months to live.
So later that day I stabbed him to death, and the judge sentenced me for 15 years in prison. Problem solved!
Right, I have a dog and his name is Syndrome, and whenever he is good, I go "Good Syndrome," but whenever he is naughty, I go "Down Syndrome."
I stole a wheelchair from a disabled kid. What is he going to do, stand up?
