You are so ugly, when you were born, your mother asked for a receipt.
Product Jokes
Yo momma's armpits stink so bad she made Right Guard turn to left.
Look for the Gummy Bear album in stores on November 13th, with lots of music, videos, and extras!
I went to Starbucks today and they asked what I wanted, and I replied with "to die, a shot of bleach, and an deppresso expresso."
Someone should start a vaping company with the slogan: "Vapes that hit harder than your dad." Sales would skyrocket.
Can I get a HOYA?
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a shopping bag?
One is made of plastic and bad for kids; the other one holds shopping.
Apple made a new product for Chinese people called the iOpener.
A man assaulted me with milk, cheese, and butter.
How dairy!
What do you call a suicide bomber under the water?
A bath bomb.
I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a fire.
Now we call him hot wheels.
What do you call a kid going fast on a wheelchair?
Hot Wheels.
*walks into sex shop*
Hello. I would like to buy 1 sex, please.
Why is Johnson’s baby shampoo the best lubricant for anal sex?
- No more tears.
I swallowed shampoo. It goes blblblblb. 🧼
What’s Emos favourite bacci?
Cutters choice.
What do you call children born from incest?
Gross Domestic Product.
What's the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms?
One's a good year, and one's a great year.
If Carlsberg did wheelchairs...
Stephen Hawking is to wheelchairs like Uncle Ben is to rice.
