Product jokes
You are so ugly, when you were born, your mother asked for a receipt.
Yo momma's armpits stink so bad she made Right Guard turn to left.
Look for the Gummy Bear album in stores on November 13th, with lots of music, videos, and extras!
I went to Starbucks today and they asked what I wanted, and I replied with "to die, a shot of bleach, and an deppresso expresso."
Someone should start a vaping company with the slogan: "Vapes that hit harder than your dad." Sales would skyrocket.
Can I get a HOYA?
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a shopping bag?
One is made of plastic and bad for kids; the other one holds shopping.
Apple made a new product for Chinese people called the iOpener.
A man assaulted me with milk, cheese, and butter.
How dairy!
What do you call a suicide bomber under the water?
A bath bomb.
I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a fire.
Now we call him hot wheels.
What do you call a kid going fast on a wheelchair?
Hot Wheels.
*walks into sex shop*
Hello. I would like to buy 1 sex, please.
Why is Johnson’s baby shampoo the best lubricant for anal sex?
- No more tears.
I swallowed shampoo. It goes blblblblb. 🧼
What’s Emos favourite bacci?
Cutters choice.
What do you call children born from incest?
Gross Domestic Product.
What's the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms?
One's a good year, and one's a great year.
If Carlsberg did wheelchairs...
Stephen Hawking is to wheelchairs like Uncle Ben is to rice.