Priest jokes
When the priest said, "Be gone from this boy, demon!" the demon replied, "And you get out of the boy!"
How do you trick a homophobic heterosexual male that is a Roman Catholic priest into using the glory hole inside the men's restroom at a gay bar?
Tell him that it is a confessional booth.
How is a priest like a wristwatch?
They both start at 12.
How do you know you've found a priest? When little Timmy is glued to his crotch.
Two priests are driving down a road when they are pulled over by the cops.
The cop shines a light in their faces and signals to the driver to roll down his window.
"We're searching for two child molesters," he says.
The driver leans over to the other priest, and they whisper between themselves.
Finally, he turns back to the policeman. "Ok. We'll do it."
What turns green, purple, and white? A chameleon.
I love going to church to get closer to God, but my least favorite part of church has to be touching the priest’s penis.
What is an Italian massage?
An Italian Catholic priest giving a blowjob inside the confessional booth during Lent.
A priest says to me, "Come up, my child." Then I said, "Do I know you? Because you're not my father."
There were four men eating dinner on the Titanic when it hit the iceberg.
The waiter said, "We have to get to the lifeboats!"
The teacher said, "What about the kids?"
The lawyer said, "Fuck the kids."
The priest said, "Do you think we'll have time?"
What's the difference between a priest and Woody from Toy Story?
Woody goes limp when a kid walks in the room.
How do men like their women? Striped.
How does a priest like their children? Clean.
Why are most orphans strippers? They want to call someone mommy or daddy.
What is the difference between a stripper and candy? None. But they like it when you take the wrapper off.
What's a priest's favorite fruit?
Cantaloupe.
What did the priest say when he walked into an elementary school?
Let us prey.
Why do I call my priest daddy?
Because he raped my mom when she was 13. She's 27 now.
A pedophile and a priest run a race.
You can’t beat yourself in a race!
Why can't you make jokes about catholic priests?
Because they blow up in your face.
So I saw a bag full of children near a dumpster. I guess we know where the orphans are when the parents didn’t want them.
Wouldn’t want to hope a Catholic priest comes along, otherwise the priest will have new sex toys.
You should know it's important to wash your sex toys. That's why priests invented baptism.
You should always wash your sex toys. That's why priests baptize babies.