Catholic Church jokes

Why does the Catholic Church have a glory hole inside the confessional booth?

So a priest can give an anonymous blowjob to another bisexual man, or a gay man, or a heterosexual man that has a big dick after the priest hears their confession.

I watched a documentary about a man who grew up in the Catholic church.

It was a touching story.

Why is the Catholic church in favor of condoms now?

It's now getting harder to hide DNA evidence.

What place has more boys than the Catholic Church? Michael Jackson's bedroom.

Why do Black people go to a confession stand at the Catholic Church?

They wanna know what it’s like to speak to a father.

Why does a penis taste like octopus 🐙?

Stupid question 😒 🙄 even the catholic church ⛪ 🙏 knows that one.

For centuries the Catholic Church censored everything that wouldn‘t fit with their teachings. You know what I call that?

"Chancel culture!"

You would think catholic churches would be in favor of condoms: less DNA evidence.

You'd think the Catholic Church would be in favor of condoms... less DNA evidence.

Who would win?

The laws of the Catholic Church which have been effective for over 900 years,

Or one horny Henry?

What does the Catholic Church and Worstjokesever.com have in common?

They're both full of child groomers.

Why do Catholic priests make the best cocksuckers for gay and bisexual men that are members of the Catholic Church?

Because there are glory holes inside of the confessional booths.

Three nuns are talking, and the first nun says, "You would never believe what I discovered." Intrigued, the others signal her to continue. "I found a phone in the priest's room," said the first nun. "Oh, that's nothing," said the second one. "I found condoms in one of his drawers." said the second one. "What did you do with them?" said the first nun. Pridefully, the second nun responds with, "I poked holes in all of them." and the third nun says, "Oh sh*t...."

Father: "The church is on fire! GET OUT! GET OUT!"

Priest: "Ok, what about the children?"

Father: "FUCK THE CHILDREN!"

Priest: "Do you think we'll have time?"

A Muslim is about to commit suicide when a Catholic priest stops him.

"What are you doing?!" exclaims the priest.

"There is nothing on this Earth for me," the Muslim says. "I will commit suicide to go to paradise and get 72 virgins!"

The priest shakes his head.

"Foolish Muslim, suicide is not the way!" he says.

"Follow me, I'll take you to the local primary school."

What do Catholic priests and school shooters have in common?

They both like to dump their loads into little kids.