Priest Jokes


A 23 year old priest walks into a high school with an automatic weapon.He tells those who believe in god to stand up and leave.To the children who don’t leave ,he says ,"Do not worry my children,I shall make thou ‘hole-y’ as well."He then proceeds to shoot all of the students left.


How did the priest know the nun was on her period? He tasted blood on the altar boy’s cock.

Young french fry squable

What happened to the eight year old boy that needed to go to the bathroom during church? The priest stopped him on the way there



in Bar

A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar. The bartender looks at them and says, “What is this? Some kind of joke?”

Subject Frans Comedy

these are all of my terrible jokes

Two antennas met on a roof, they fell in love and got married. The ceremony was alright but the reception was amazing A jumper cable walks into a bar and the bartender said "I’ll serve you but don’t start anything A dyslexic man walks into a bra Two cannibals are eating a clown, one says "does this taste funny to you, I’m joking of course" Dejamoo: the feeling that you’ve heard this bull before A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident and said to the doctor “I can’t feel my legs” the doctor said " I know, I AMPUTATED YOUR ARMS" I went to seafood disco last week, I pulled a muscle What do you call a fish with no eyes, a fsh Two fish swim into a concrete wall, one says "dam" A mystic dwarf escapes from a jail, the call went out of a "small medium at large" A man walks into a bar with solid tar under his arm, he says "a beer please,and one for the road" Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? The p is silent YO MAMA SO FAT THAT she should be worried, diabetes is a serious problem What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut, duh A priest a rabbi and a cleric walk into a bar, the cleric, due to his religious constructions, does not drink alcohol. The others do the same, they have a pleasant fun and nothing bad happens. What’s red and smells like blue paint? Red paint. I remember the last words my grandad said before he kicked the bucket, how far do you think I can kick this bucket A man walks into a bar, his alcohol independence is pulling this family apart I like my coffee like my women, on sometimes with a penis A man is working at a bar, a money comes in and orders a banana martini. The man wakes up and tells his story to his wife, he is ignored and he turns around sobbing. His marriage is falling apart Why didn’t Jesus play hockey? Soccer and baseball are more popular in Mexico What’s green and has wheels? Grass, the wheels WERE A LIE. What do a duck and a bicycle have in common? They both have wheels except the duck Why couldn’t the dinosaur break the wall, I don’t know. I’m asking you Why did the old woman put rainbow roller skates on her walker, she has dementia There are an owl and a squirrel watching a farmer go by, they owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing. It’s an owl it can’t talk. The owl then eats the squirrel because the owl is a bird of prey

P.... Policeman

Do you know what a reverse exorcism is?

It’s when the demon tells the priest to exit the child’s body

Why did the priest buy a clown suit? Because the old one had blood all over it.


What’s do a priest and Christmas tree lights have in common?

They can both flash


A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar.

They should have ducked.


No one Why are priests called father I don’t know why Because calling them daddy is to suspicious

What does a pirate say to the president?? Spread your legs so I can get my treasure back

This is life now.

What’s the difference between a catholic priest and a pedophile? There isn’t a difference.


Why did the priest go to the clothing sale at Walmart? He heard that little boy’s pants were half off

Yo Father. Don’t use the baptism bath. I cleaned my anul plug in there.


The holy water gets all the ass of. Don’t mind the white stuff. clears throat

in Catholic

whats the difference between a zit and a catholic priest?
a zit will wait til 12 before it cums on your face.

in Knock knock

Why did the child cross the road? To get to the church. Knock-Knock. Who’s there? The Priest… Lets go to my office, because I’m totally not a pedophile.


What are priests favourite shoe?

White Vans.

in Difference

Whats the difference between acne and a priest?

Acne waits until your a teen to cum on your face.