Preference Jokes

What does broccoli and sex have in common?

If you were forced to have it as a kid, you’re gonna hate it as an adult.

Three sons left home, went out into the world, and each of them made a lot of money. During a reunion, they discussed the gifts they'd given to their elderly mum.

"I built a big house for our mum," said the first.

"I sent her a Mercedes, with a chauffeur," said the second.

And the third smiled and said, "I think my gift was the best. You know how much mum enjoyed reading the Bible? And you know that her eyes aren't so good anymore? Well, I sent her a remarkable cockatoo that recites the entire Bible, both old and new testaments. It took a priest twelve years to teach him. That cockatoo is the only one in the world that can do it. All mum has to do is name the chapter and verse, and the cockatoo recites it."

A few days later, mum sent out her thankyou letters. She wrote to the first son,

"The house you built is so enormous that I only live in one room. The trouble is, I have to clean the whole house."

To the second son she said, "I'm far too old to travel anymore. I stay at home most of the time, so I've hardly used the Mercedes. In any case, the driver is so rude."

To the third son she wrote "Dearest Freddie. You have the good sense to know what your mum likes. The chicken was delicious!"

Why do men like big tits and a flat ass?

Because they got little dicks and big mouths.

My girlfriend said she wanted to be pampered. I told her I wasn't into diaper fetishes.

Ashes to ashes, priests prefer boys, 'cause they don't have to shave their asses.

I only trust people that like big butts.

I like my men like I like my coffee: black and hot.

Why do people eat food?

Coz it tastes good lol.

What’s the difference between an orphan and a sugar donut?

People want donuts.

(Wait, forgot about the 3rd third thing.) I have said this countless times, but it doesn't seem to be getting through to you: quit hating on particular jokes. You don't like it? Nobody cares. Don't go into the morbid jokes category, you idiots, ffs!

If you think about it, then adoption is the last choice for getting a child, so those who are adopted were the last choice.

I dislike the UK with a great taste.

Dark jokes are just like food.

Not everyone gets it.

All of a guy's sons came out gay. He ordered 10 shots in a bar.

The bartender asks, "Do you have anyone in your family who likes women?"

The man said, "My wife does!"

I can't decide if I like rocking chairs or not.

I keep going back and forth on them.

My favorite dark joke is orphan jokes. For no apparent reason.

(If you see this joke with a blue "S" that's also me. I just have an acc now.)

What's better, a woman or a man?

Neither, for I am WHITE.

You look like a sandwich Bigfoot didn't even like.

People's music when friends are around: *rock*

When they are gone: "Come on, vamanos, everybody let's go!"

Do you think Mars prefers Sour Orbiters sweet?

Orbiter: "Or bitter?"