Politics jokes

What comment did the United States Senator Kamla Harris make when one of her 64% blue dog democrat constituents called her incompetent?

"Sometimes I sits and thinks, and sometimes I just sits!"

Joe Biden would’ve died in the Secret Service tackle. They would have been like, "Get down Mr. Presi-"

Unfortunately, NASCAR has been canceled.

The woke people heard that it was a human traffic ring.

My sister is so stupid, she thought LBJ was a blow job.

How did Hitler get killed?

With a "NEIN" millimeter.

Q: What was Hitler's least favorite candy?

A: Jujubes.

Hitler is a national hero, he killed Hitler... Oh wait.

All you pro-life Christian motherfuckers can go die, lol.

How many times was Bin Laden shot?

911 times.

"Hitler and Goring are standing atop the Berlin radio tower. Hitler says he wants to do something to put a smile on Berliners' faces.

So Goring says: 'Why don't you jump?'"

What is the worst thing that Nazis have done?

Adolf Hit-her.

What was Osama bin Laden's favorite drink?

A double Manhattan.

Biden... get it?

Q: Why didn't the Oak tree win the election?

A: He didn't get the votes he was oaking for, because he was not the popular vote.

There's only one reason our Education Minister is standing by this curriculum.

In her religion, you NEVER pull out.

What do you and Joe Biden have in common?

Nobody loves you or him.

When you fail art school.

My penis is so polite. It stands up so girls can sit down.

Why did America lose the chess match?

They were down 2 towers.

What do you call a blind Nazi?

A Not-See!