Politics jokes
What is the difference between human rights and the rights of a human being in?
In Soviet Russia,
You love Chinese and hate Chinese.
What do Americans and Rubik's Cubes have in common?
They both have a history of separating colors.
He's homeless.
Another: Oh he must be A "Sheer" (as in Andrew Scheer) survivor...
The other: No, he's a Liberal (as in Justin Trudeau) job hopeful.
Why are there no guns in China? They might do some "ting wong!"
What's Christian and holey?
JFK.
Just because you have a career in the North doesn't mean you are North Korean.
What's the difference between a woman with a penis and a terrorist? You can negotiate with the terrorist.
Have you ever heard of the Russian politician who was so afraid of the dark that, instead of going to the bathroom at night, he would use a metal tin that he kept underneath his bed?
His name is Vladimir Pootin.
How did Teddy Roosevelt swing all the ladies?
He spoke softly and carried a big stick.
If you mixed the Iraq wheat scandal with the basics card paying other people's dole to your wife and tumble dried it in a royal commission that made your priestly mates look bad, what would you get?
Tony Abbott's career.
Donald Trump and the Pope were standing on a platform in front of a crowd of people. The Pope said to Donald Trump, “I can make everyone in this audience happy with one small swipe of my hand.”
Donald Trump replies, “That’s not possible. You’ll have to show me.” Then the Pope slaps him.
What is black and white?
Probably Mexican history.
I want to run. I go Iran, because I RAN, not IRAN, because it’s an Iran joke about the country, not the movement.
What Did Iran Say To Oman?
"Oh man, I ran out of ideas!"
How would negotiations between Putin and Zelensky play out?
QUEUE THE MUSIC
BANG BANG INTO THE ROOM I KNOW U WANT IT
The annoying orange told the annoying, insecure, beta bitch orange that he wants to be the most annoying thing on Earth again.
If Republicans really wanted to enact pro-life legislation, they would ban guns, not abortion.
We really should erect a statue of the guy who killed Hitler.
Are you guys alright?
If you answered yes then you are wrong. You are all LEFT. Kill me, hmph.
(This joke was taken from that none funny b*tch on Britain's Got Talent)