Politics jokes
A UN survey asked the following: Please, in your honest opinion, could you give your thoughts on the food shortages in the rest of the world?
It was a failure because:
South Americans don’t know the word “please.”
Eastern Europeans don’t know the word “honest.”
Middle Easterns don’t know the word “opinion.”
Balkans don’t know the word “give.”
Chinese don’t know the word “thoughts.”
Africans don’t know the word “food.”
Western Europeans don’t know the word “shortage.”
Americans don’t know the words “the rest of the world.”
Then they simply explained “just donate healthy food to the global south to help.” But that still didn’t sit right with everyone, because Israelis do not know the word “donate,” and Pacific Islanders do not know the words “healthy food.”
People: Stop invading Ukraine!
Putin: Ukraine? you mean Mykraine.
What's the difference between your mom in bed and Biden in the presidential race?
Your mom finishes.
What is black and white?
Probably Mexican history.
Abortion clinics are kind of like NAZI gas chambers. Less people come out than go in.
Republicans were quick to admit however, that the 22nd Amendment was passed in a stolen election to remove FDR.
If the red house is on the left, and the blue house on the right, where is the white house?
In Washington D.C.
Man, I hate the government.
Hitler is amazing; he's dead but still alive because he did Nazi death coming. It never happened.
America has white people that are terrorists and racists. They love to blame people from different countries for what they have done.
White person: "We are not terrorists. Why would [we] ever do that in our history?"
The rest of the people: *looks at them stupid* "Y'all were the first motherfuckers to be a terrorist first and then wanting to blame others for your action."
1 person: "You still carrying that confederate flag. It means hatred and [you're] still trying to fight to bring back slaves again. Y'all say it's heritage and not hate, but [you're] clearly still a fucking loser, and your flag has an X [on it, which] means wrong. So... Still a loser. People can't be racist to a racist. It just doesn't make sense. I'm not saying all white people are racist, but I am talking about the ones who voted for Trump and be blind as hell. FUCK DONALD TRUMP AND THE RACIST PEOPLE!"
MAGAnon is the goat.
🦆🦆🦆
Tons of people committed suicide on 9/11 by destroying government property.
Not to mention and by plane.
What do you call a fat, ugly, and hairy woman with a rape whistle? A feminist.
Unlike the Americans, Hitler knew when to kill himself.
What is Hitler's favorite game?
Nahtzee.
"You're the bomb."
"No, you're the bomb."
A compliment in the US, an argument in the Middle East.
Why will America always lose in chess?
It lost its two towers!
Statue of Liberty ain't even American, that b*tch is French!
For centuries, Japan’s feudal dictators, called Shoguns, enforced strict laws that kept people from leaving or entering the country. This practice isolated Japan from the rest of the world. By the middle of the 19th century, Japan’s isolationism was creating problems for the United States’ whaling industry whose ships needed coal, food, and water available in Japanese ports. And sailors who were shipwrecked on the coast of Japan needed protection from mistreatment.
In November 1852, President Millard Fillmore sent an expedition to Japan to solve these problems. Led by Commodore Matthew C. Perry, the expedition had both steam-powered and sail-powered warships and several hundred men. Perry’s task was to persuade the Japanese to sign a treaty with the United States that would open Japanese ports and protect shipwrecked sailors. On July 8, 1853, the Perry expedition sailed into Edo Bay about thirty miles from the city of Edo (modern Tokyo).
During talks with the Shogun’s representatives, the idea of a treaty was repeatedly rejected. But Perry didn’t give up. Finally, in February 1854, the Japanese agreed to negotiate a treaty. The Treaty of Kanagawa established peace between the two countries, opened two ports to U.S. shipping, and protected shipwrecked sailors. It was signed on March 31, 1854.
Perry’s expedition also opened Japan to the rest of the world. Within two years, Japan signed similar treaties with Russia, Holland, and Britain.
What kind of trumpet are you playing?
An "Donald Trumpet"!
What type of tea does the Social Justice Warrior avoid?
Reality.