Politics jokes
Why doesn't George Washington carry his ID?
Because he knows he can always ask for a quarter.
Yo mama's so fat, she was overthrown by a small militia group, and now she's known as the Republic of Yo Mama.
Why can’t U.S.A or England play chess?
Because the U.S.A has no towers, and England doesn’t have a queen.
Hey, America. No towers? :(
Palestinians leave without saying goodbye.
Israel says goodbye when the Americans say so.
Trump should be grateful for DEI.
How else could a mentally handicapped person be elected President?
Roses are red, Epstein's face turned blue.
Trump's on that list, And there's nothing he can do.
Trump cut funding for Sesame Street.
I think he's jealous that the characters on Sesame Street can count to 10.
Why did Iran, ran?
Iran said, "I ran away!"
What did the duck say to the pond?
"Fuck Trump."
I can’t remember if I already said this or not. I might have already said this. Also, this is a true story.
So, I’m walking into a store in Amish country, and there’s this guy with a bear trap. Then my mom’s friend says, "This guy’s gonna catch some bears." Then the Amish guy stops, looks around, and whispers, “It’s for democrats.”
"It's not a war crime if you invade a country with oil."
-Sun Tzu, Art of War
Qassem Soleimani is so popular today.
I mean, he just blew up overnight!
What do you call a guy that lies a lot?
The president.
What did Rob O'Neill say before he shot Osama Bin Laden between the eyes?
"Go to HELLakbar!"
Biden and Trump.
That's it. That's the joke.
How many times did Rob O'Neill shoot Bin Laden? 911 times.
What is the difference between Obama and Osama?
Osama didn't kill innocent civilians with missile strikes.
When Hitler killed himself, he shot himself twice. The first one was Operation Barbarossa, and the second one was his death.
Bush is innocent, he's white...