Politics jokes

Ukraine be like dead children...

RUSSIA BE LIKE DEAD GENERALS!

I don't get progressive leftists these days. They claim to be supporting BLM, but they aren't pro-life.

Make America Great Britain again!

*walks into a comedy night club* Owner: "You're doing standup tonight, right?" Noob Joker (you): "Yes, I am!" Owner: "Get onto the stage." Me: *walks up stage* Owner: "This is the standup comedian noobpro." Me: "Hey guys, how about some Donald Trump?" Crowd: *RUNS*

What does a pirate say to the president?? Spread your legs so I can get my treasure back.

My brother went missing 5 years ago. He also supported TRUMP. He is currently dead in my basement in a chest in a cupboard.

He do American feel like Trump is the president, he is stupid like soup.

Here via westwingman.net from Veep!

What is the difference between human rights and the rights of a human being in?

Why doesn't George Washington carry his ID?

Because he knows he can always ask for a quarter.

When I try to call my friend, I can't get through because my name is Lin Kon, and the operator keeps saying, "Yes, Mr. President."

Are you a nation leader or an email deleter?

I was in my guitar class and my strings were dead, and then I realized they were more dead than George Bush on November 30, 2018.

Random guy: Come on, Bin Laden, time is ticking. Get it, ticking. OK, I'll leave.

A guy walks up to me and says, "I wonder if the hookman is real?"

I reply saying, "Yeah, it's Asa Hutchinson, lol."

Why can’t U.S.A or England play chess?

Because the U.S.A has no towers, and England doesn’t have a queen.

Yo mama's so fat, she was overthrown by a small militia group, and now she's known as the Republic of Yo Mama.

Why does the president take so long to deliver each sentence?

He’s just Biden his time.

There hasn’t been 3 months of peace in this country since 2019. Jesus, take the wheel.

What do the initials "MAD" stand for?

Mothers Against Democrats.