Politics jokes
Who's Hitler's best friend? Nazis me.
How does Hitler tie his shoes?
Into little Nazis.
JFK
Half is definitely a bottom.
If Republicans really wanted to enact pro-life legislation, they would ban guns, not abortion.
Ukraine.
Most controversial types of matter:
1. Dark matter 2. Anti-matter 3. Black Lives Matter.
Why did the Democrats act like an asshole when Rush Limbaugh was alive?
Because they fear him.
Q. What's the difference between Trump and a Teletubby?
A. The Teletubby is a lot more coherent.
What did the trumpet say to Trump?
"Hi, fellow trumpet!"
In a thick Russian accent:
"Let's buy some vodka, pollute the earth with oil, and make insecure nuclear power plants that break all the time! Ah, yes. The mother land. A great place to be. Not like those stupid Ukrainian people who are living happy lives, they are crazy and need to die."
Why didn't Donald Trump pick up his phone when Jeffrey Epstein called him?
Because Donald killed Jeffrey Epstein in prison to hide the evidence.
Jackie gives better head than Marilyn.
How do you become with NATO? Promise no more world wars by secretly performing military practices behind their back.
Iran? More like tin can, cause we’re going to kick their teeth in, am I right?
My friend is blind.
So he always says he cannot Nazi.
You're so ugly that you and Adolfo Hitler are like twins.
Donald Trump is still the president, even after the government has been shut down.
A retired George W. Bush is eating a donut at 7/11 and looks at it. "I'm so happy I did that." A guy overhears the conversation and says, "You're happy you bought that donut? Oh haha, I would be too. I love donuts!" George W. Bush then says, "Oh hahaha, you caught me," and then says, "Oh hahaha, you must have heard me wrong. I said, I'm so happy I did 9/11."
Hey, wanna hear a racist joke?
Donald Trump.
"Nancy be like I sucked my way to the top."