Politics jokes
Obama: It smells like UpNigga in here...
Trump: What's UpNigga?
Obama: Omg did you say the n word?? Die!!!
Trump, just why?
What do you get when you cross a fat christian nationalist that is heteroflexable, a christian nationalist politician who is also a born again christian, a conservative republican that has a small penis, and a tv evangelist on steroids?
MAGAnon STOP SCAMING FOR THE SAKE OF LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Why is the Nazi Anthem banned in Germany? Because Horst Wessel lied.
I was looking at our Human Services Minister and thinking I'm surprised he's married.
The things you do for your cousins!
My face when “Free Palestine” wasn’t a sales deal.
What do you call two old men drooling in their wheelchairs?
The 2028 US election.
What is a card carrying lesbian feminist?
A carpet muncher who is a card carrying member of the National Organization For Women.
What did the racist Catholic priest say?
"Martin Luther? Not my king!"
You will never see a redneck opposing a war.
He will instead say, "Wait, I get to kill people and it's not illegal? And they're foreigners?"
You really can't call Stalin bad, just think about the kids that depression.
If Joe Biden was on stage and he heard gunshots, he probably would’ve thought it was the ice cream truck.
What's the difference between Canada and the USA?
In the USA, Trump is sitting in the Oval Office.
In Canada, he'd be sitting in the waiting room of a MAiD clinic.
White 40 year olds love little white kids, and so does Trump! The biggest hands to touch the kids and his daughter!
There are three people in a plane that is about to crash: Trump, Obama, and a nine-year-old girl, but only two parachutes. Obama says, "Oh my, I need one. I need to protect my family," so he jumps off! Trump says, "Oh, I am the smartest man in the world. I must take it," so he jumps off. The nine-year-old girl says, "Welp, I guess he took my school backpack" :) so she leaves the plane! What a good ending.
What does Donald Trump say when he declares war? Nuke them.
What does a pervert say when he declares war? Nude them.
A Russian wife turned to her husband and asked...
"What's this special military operation our glorious leader keeps talking about?"
Her husband replied, "It's a proxy war between Russia and NATO."
"Oh, right. How's it going?"
"Well," he replied, "so far we've lost 200,000 soldiers, 4,000 tanks, 500 aircraft, numerous helicopters, loads of armoured vehicles and artillery pieces along with our 'flag ship'."
"Wow! What about NATO?"
"They haven't turned up yet."
What's the difference between a government and a pawn shop?
They lower you.
Biden: See you later, alligator!
Alligator: In a while, pedophile.