Politics jokes
Who's Hitler's best friend? Nazis me.
Biden: See you later, alligator!
Alligator: In a while, pedophile.
Q. What's the difference between Trump and a Teletubby?
A. The Teletubby is a lot more coherent.
What did the trumpet say to Trump?
"Hi, fellow trumpet!"
If Republicans really wanted to enact pro-life legislation, they would ban guns, not abortion.
Memes
Why can't America play chess?
They're already missing 2 towers.
JFK
Half is definitely a bottom.
Ukraine.
Most controversial types of matter:
1. Dark matter 2. Anti-matter 3. Black Lives Matter.
Why did the Democrats act like an asshole when Rush Limbaugh was alive?
Because they fear him.
In a thick Russian accent:
"Let's buy some vodka, pollute the earth with oil, and make insecure nuclear power plants that break all the time! Ah, yes. The mother land. A great place to be. Not like those stupid Ukrainian people who are living happy lives, they are crazy and need to die."
How do you become with NATO? Promise no more world wars by secretly performing military practices behind their back.
My friend is blind.
So he always says he cannot Nazi.
Jackie gives better head than Marilyn.
Iran? More like tin can, cause we’re going to kick their teeth in, am I right?
I'm Canadian, and I admit we've done some stupid things. But we've never given nuclear launch codes to a literal retard.
You're so ugly that you and Adolfo Hitler are like twins.
Donald Trump is still the president, even after the government has been shut down.
A retired George W. Bush is eating a donut at 7/11 and looks at it. "I'm so happy I did that." A guy overhears the conversation and says, "You're happy you bought that donut? Oh haha, I would be too. I love donuts!" George W. Bush then says, "Oh hahaha, you caught me," and then says, "Oh hahaha, you must have heard me wrong. I said, I'm so happy I did 9/11."
Hey, wanna hear a racist joke?
Donald Trump.