Politics

Politics jokes

Stalin

A man goes into the streets of Moscow and yells, “I am tired of this guy with a silly mustache and stupid rules being a leader!”

A soldier heard him, so he goes and catches him. Later, he brings the man to Stalin. The soldier says to Stalin what happened and Stalin asks the man, “Who were you thinking about when you yelled in the streets?”

The man responds, “Of course, I was thinking about Hitler!”

Stalin lets him go, but then he stops the soldier and says, “Who were YOU thinking about?”

Country

In a normal country, you call it Yugoslavia.

In Soviet Russia, it's called aregoslavia.

In a normal country, you call it Yugoslavia.

In Soviet Russia, it's called yugostravia.

Memes

Death

Why didn't Donald Trump pick up his phone when Jeffrey Epstein called him?

Because Donald killed Jeffrey Epstein in prison to hide the evidence.

Russia

I was in Russia at a stand-up comedy performance about someone making fun of Putin, but the jokes were awful. The execution was nice, though.

Jew

A Middle Eastern man comes to the states to do a stand up show. He starts by saying “2 Jews walk into a bar, NOT IN MY COUNTRY!”

Chess

Why are Americans so bad at chess?

Because they have already lost 2 towers!

Mamma

Your mamma is so fat that even a North Korean missile would have competition.

Gender

Genders are a lot like the Twin Towers.

There used to be two of them, now it's a sensitive subject.

Communism

All of the sudden, if you're Republican, you're racist, and Communism is a symbol of freedom? What happened to the proud men our founding fathers were, damn it!

World

What do you call the Illuminati when they take over the world and control everything?

The Jew World Order.