Politics jokes

What's the difference between an ISIS militant base and a Pakistani children's school?

I don't know, I just fly the drone.

An assassin is about to shoot his target, "I'm about to give you the JFK experience."

America: I'm going to build a wall.

Nazi: Been there.

Soviet Union: Done that.

"Everyone knows I love kids better than people."

- Joe Biden. (A.K.A. Pedo Peter.)

Why did Hitler die? He got hit by 'ler'.

What do Jim Kelly and Dick Cheney have in common?

They both make terrible hunters.

Joe Biden said he was going to a petting zoo.

Trump said schools are not petting zoos.

There are 4 people on an airplane, and the pilot has a heart attack and dies. The plane is going down, and there are also only 3 parachutes. So the guy who knows how to cure cancer says, "I’m jumping. I can save many lives." Then the 46th president, Joe Biden, says, "I’m taking the 2nd one." So there is only one left. Donald Trump says to the 7-year-old girl, "I have lived a long life. You can take the next one." So the little girl says, "That’s ok; the 46th president took my backpack." Lol.

There are 4 people on a plane while it's crashing and there are only 3 parachutes. There's Opera, Obama, a little girl, and Trump. Opera grabs a parachute and says, "I'm famous, I get one!" And Trump grabs one and says, "Well, I'm president, of course I get one!" Obama looks at the little girl and says, "Since you're the future of our generation, take the last one." The little girl hugs Obama and says, "Actually, we can both have one. Trump took my backpack!"

Healthcare these days is a bit of an Obamanation.

Does Donald know his wife is Mexican?

Why didn't Biden get the virus?

He sniffed everyone!

ICE and ISIS have similar first syllables. Coincidence? I think not!

What do you say when Trump is still president during 2020? Magic!

What is the reason for why women never look to the right?

Because they don't have any rights.

Why was Hitler a Baka at mathematics? Because he can only count to Nein.

What's blue, red, and white and dead all over?

Trump's dead Russian mates.

What’s the difference between Hitler and a bug?

Nothing.

I would like to thank my favorite President Barack Obama. Sorry, Barack Obama and my uncle Obama bin Laden. I mean Osama bin Laden. Sorry, hummus in my throat.

What did Hitler say to Stan after he died?

I did nazi that coming!