Politics jokes
*walks into a comedy night club* Owner: "You're doing standup tonight, right?" Noob Joker (you): "Yes, I am!" Owner: "Get onto the stage." Me: *walks up stage* Owner: "This is the standup comedian noobpro." Me: "Hey guys, how about some Donald Trump?" Crowd: *RUNS*
Trump should be grateful for DEI.
How else could a mentally handicapped person be elected President?
What's the difference between a UKIP voter and a shopping trolley?
Some shopping trolleys have minds of their own.
Why can’t U.S.A or England play chess?
Because the U.S.A has no towers, and England doesn’t have a queen.
What do Americans and Rubik's Cubes have in common?
They both have a history of separating colors.
My bro had siblings who survived they could have helped him at any moment and now we have people around with the last name Hitler.
Joe Biden would’ve died in the Secret Service tackle. They would have been like, "Get down Mr. Presi-"
Biden: See you later, alligator!
Alligator: In a while, pedophile.
If only Caesar hadn’t left home that day...
How to get into politics?
Fail art school.
If you think of a president as your king, then the USA got checkmated on November 22nd, 1963.
I find it bemusing that hardcore right-wingers are superfans of Johnny Depp, considering that he looks like a dangerous Mexican drug lord.
How do you anger a democrat?
Don't tell him the truth.
What borders on stupidity?
Scotland and the EU.
The annoying orange told the annoying, insecure, beta bitch orange that he wants to be the most annoying thing on Earth again.
What's the slogan for a Muslim gym?
Might in dynamite.
What is the difference between a blond and a Nazi?
The blond survived.
What do U.S. airstrikes and dark humor have in common?
They're normally pointed towards Africa and the Middle East.
What did Hitler say to Stan after he died?
I did nazi that coming!
Q: What is Germany's favorite board game?
A: Nahtzee (Yahtzee).
If the UK is 6 hours ahead of us, why didn't they just warn us about 9/11?