Why can’t U.S.A or England play chess?
Because the U.S.A has no towers, and England doesn’t have a queen.
Communism is actually kinda tight.
Why is suicide illegal?
Because it destroys government property.
Why do Chinese people like playing Among Us?
It’s the only place they can vote!
"Yo mama's so fat that when she farts, Al Gore accuses her of global warming."
Yo mama's so fat, she was overthrown by a small militia group, and now she's known as the Republic of Yo Mama.
Being unemployed is like watching our president fall over himself on the stairs.
There’s no hope.
What do you call two old men drooling in their wheelchairs?
The 2028 US election.
What war did the black community win?
The Obama era. Only to lose to a smarter white person.
Why are Americans stupid? They shoot everyone that goes to school.
As I am from South Carolina, I just thought about something Jefferson Davis would have thought about:
"Them slaves taking credit for everything."
Wanna go to suicide school, then time travel to Hitler's bunker and ask him to teach you?
What do you call a rich Chinese person? Cha-ching!
Ask Siri what rich North Koreans are there.
Siri: "I could not find anything for this question."
What do pretzels and a corrupt government have in common?
They are both twisted.
Fun fact: this category of jokes is the MOST hated one by feminists.
Unless you force them the point.
How could the German people fall for Hitler and the Nazis?
There were an awful lot of red flags!
A man goes into the streets of Moscow and yells, “I am tired of this guy with a silly mustache and stupid rules being a leader!”
A soldier heard him, so he goes and catches him. Later, he brings the man to Stalin. The soldier says to Stalin what happened and Stalin asks the man, “Who were you thinking about when you yelled in the streets?”
The man responds, “Of course, I was thinking about Hitler!”
Stalin lets him go, but then he stops the soldier and says, “Who were YOU thinking about?”
What's the difference between 911 and a Mexican gardener?
One of them is an outside job.
In 1941, Hans, a young German boy, was listening to the radio.
Over the radio, Hitler announced that Germany was now going to war with the United States.
"Father, where is the United States?" Hans asked.
His father pointed at a map of North America.
"Aren’t we currently at war with Russia? Where might that be?" he questioned his father.
The man pointed towards the Soviet Union.
"And I’m told we’re also at war with the British Empire. Where is that?"
The father pointed out all of the territories owned by the British.
"Where is Germany again, Father?"
He pointed to their home country in Central Europe.
Hans pondered this information for a second. "One last question, Father."
"Yes?"
"Has Hitler seen this map?"
American people: We will throw your teabags in the ocean!
British: At least our towers didn’t fall. 😎
