Politics jokes
Why does Donald Trump have a fervent crush on the Russian president?
He is Putin his dick where it don't belong!
What was Hitler's favorite thing to do to pass the time?
Smoking.
What's the difference between a Nazi and an onion? If you cut a Nazi, nobody is crying.
Who is the most horny and fat ass god?
Kim Jung Un.
Why can't England play chess?
Because they have no queen, and they will soon lose their king.
What’s one thing Obama proved during his presidency?
No matter how far a brotha gets in life, he’s still going to have the cops on his back.
What is the difference between an Isis training camp and a school?
Not sure, I just fly the drone.
What do you call an orange on a small stick?
Donald Trump.
Donald Trump is proud of being white, which is strange, considering he's orange. Makes you wonder why he didn't pull a Michael Jackson and bleach his own skin....
JFK and Abe Lincoln were some of the most open-minded presidents ever.
If the UK is 6 hours ahead of us, why didn't they just warn us about 9/11?
What’s the difference between a feminist and a suicidal vest?
A suicidal vest actually works when triggered.
Cheap oil, no immigration, and no school shootings.
Corona did what Trump promised.
In order to get $355 million for his civil fraud case, Donald Trump desperately needed to fundraise. So, in every Republican Party event, he will serve the Patriotic Trump Dog! It consists of an 80-year-old sausage inside a 10-year-old cream bun, topped with Russian dressing.
Trump does have the best people, doesn't he?
People claim that Trump has Russian ties.
FAKE NEWS!
All of Trump's ties are made in China.
I was looking at our Human Services Minister and thinking I'm surprised he's married.
The things you do for your cousins!
Voting is like doing a group project in school.
I did my part, but I’m worried the rest of you are going to fuck this up.
Hillary Clinton lost last time to the first African American president, Barack Obama. Why will she lose this one to Donald Trump?
Because orange is the new black.
Hillary Clinton is elected president...
And on the first night she spends in the White House, she is visited by the ghost of George Washington. She asks him, "George, what can I do to best serve the United States?"
The ghost of George Washington responds, "Never tell a lie."
She says, "Oh, I don't think I can do that."
The next night, she is visited by the ghost of Thomas Jefferson. She asks him, "Thomas, what can I do to best serve the United States?"
The ghost of Thomas Jefferson responds, "Listen to the people."
She says, "Oh, I don't think I can do that."
On the third night, she is visited by the ghost of Abraham Lincoln. She asks him, "Abraham, what can I do to best serve the United States?"
The ghost of Abraham Lincoln responds, "Go see a play."
President Biden ordered an F16 missile attack to destroy the Chinese spy balloon.
Americans are thrilled. It's the first thing he's done to combat inflation.