Politics jokes
How did Donald Trump win Alabama twice?
By declaring that he has a crush on his daughter!
What's the difference between Donald Trump and Derek Vinyard?
A shaved head, a chest tattoo, and a moustache.
What did Donald Trump serve Justin Trudeau at the state dinner?
Poutine in traditional Russian dressing!
Why is Donald Trump so jealous of Usain Bolt?
Because he successfully finished a race!
What record did Obama prove during his presidency?
No matter how far a brotha gets in life, he'll still be in government housing.
So Americans strongly worship Donald Trump, eh? Well, let's put that claim to the test by throwing him into the general population of Rikers Island.
I may not be as "rich" as Donald Trump, but at least I am still allowed to go on holiday to Bali, Niagara Falls, Hong Kong, and the Pyramids of Giza.
Orange Jesus can't travel to these places because these places cannot grant entry to felons.
...ah, who am I kidding? It's likely that Trump is going to prison, anyway.
Why are Republicans supporting giving felons the right to vote?
Because their own personal jeebus is a felon!
"Dude, can you believe Republicans are opposed to homosexuality, women's rights, and immigration, yet they are silent when it comes to incest and child molestation?"
"Well, I'm not surprised. Republicans have to win the Alabama vote, or else."
Why is Donald Trump so desperate to break into the White House?
Most landlords cannot lease their properties to him due to the fact that he is a felon.
What is the best joke of all time?
Feminism.
What do you call a Trump Supporter?
A piece of $hit!
Why does Japan not allow little boys to run?
Because the last time a little boy came, Japan lost a state.
Question; Why do they call Melania Trump the "Walk-In" Freezer?
Answer; It's because that is where EVERYONE goes to "Hang Their Meat"!
Why'd Biden get fired from the supermarket?
He kept telling little kids they smell like freshly baked bread.
Hitler was talking about how to fight in WW2 when someone sneezed while Hitler was giving a speech, so Hitler yelled, "WHO SNEEZED ROW 1? DID ANYONE SNEEZE?" They said no, and Hitler shot everybody. Same for row 2 & 3, but in row 4 someone nervous said, "Me, I'm sorry." Then Hitler said, "Bless you."
What is the difference between Kanye and Hitler?
Hitler knew when his career was over.
What do you call a country's booty?
Its bottom line.
What do you call a shoe made by George Floyd?
The Breath Takers.
What’s the difference between Texas and Flint, Michigan?
Nothing; no one cares how much lead is in the kids.