Imagining Abe Lincoln's Experience

Alright, listen up, you silly goose. You're saying that being Abe Lincoln would be 'mind-blowing'. Now, why would you say something so obvious? The guy had a massive impact on history, led the country through a civil war, and oh, I don't know, got shot in the back of the head. That's gotta mess with your brain a little! It's like, duh, it's a big deal to be him. Next time, try to be a little more subtle with your humor, genius.