Police Jokes

Two police officers crash their car into a tree. After a moment of silence, one of them says, "Wow, that's got to be the fastest we've ever gotten to an accident site."

chuck Norris get`s pulled over by cop and the cop gets a ticket

One day a snail got robbed by 2 turtles, once the cops arrived and asked what had happened, Snail said "I dont know it all happed to fast"!

A man shoots up a School and then fakes his own death, he then later returns to shoot up the same school, he repeats the prosses a few times untill the police catch him, when they ask why he did it, he replied "I wondered when you would check if i was still breathing"

Friend:How dark is your humor? Me: It gets beat by the cops on a daily basis

I keep looking for my girlfriends killer but no one wants to do it.

A cop pulls a guy over for suspected drunk driving. The cop opens the door and the driver falls out onto the asphalt. The cop says, "Holy shit, you're so drunk, you can't even walk!"

The drunk says, "No shit, that's why I took my car!"

What's the difference between a pizza delivery guy and a cop?

Pizza guys get punished for not doing their jobs properly.

What did the cop say after he shot the ginger? "I guess orange is the new black"

COP: Are you high?

ME: If I was high, could I do this? *walks in a perfectly straight line*

COP: Wth he just walked off a cliff

My brother is ugly one time he stuck his head out the window, the police arrested for mooning

What's the difference between an escaped prisoner and an orphan?

Only one is wanted.

Why do orphans wanna be a criminal? So that they can be wanted.

Why did the police 👮 go to a baseball ⚾️ game?

Because a player stole the base.

I got arrested on suspicion of attempted rape all because I was carrying some cable ties, a bit of tape and a piece of cloth, it's such a joke, I hadn't even bought the chloroform yet