Police jokes
Your hairline is so back when the police saw it, they had to arrest you.
A woman buys a house, but she doesn't know what to name the house, so she stuck her head outside and heard "Hairy butt," so she named the house Hairy Butt.
The next month she had a baby, but she didn't know what to name him, so she stuck her head outside and heard "Crack," so she named the baby Crack.
After a year or two she lost him, so she called the police and said, "Help! I looked all over my hairy butt, but I couldn't find my little crack."
What do you take care of after a car crash?
The witnesses.
The colors red, white, and blue are the colors of freedom. Until they are flashing behind you.
There was a kidnapping at school.
Don't worry, he woke up.
I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom... Until they are flashing behind you!
Why did the orphan commit mass murder?
To be on top of the wanted list.
Why did the coffee file a police report? -- Because it was mugged.
What did the rapist say to his victim?
"Go ahead, call the police. We will see who comes first."
How many police officers does it take to screw in a light bulb? None they just beat the room for being black
Why did the depressed person rob a bank? Because you're not killing yourself if a cop does it for you!
Yo mama so dumb, she got hit by a cup and told the police she got mugged.
What do you call a special police officer?
Officer down!
Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the Viagra. The police put out an alert to be on the lookout for the two hardened criminals.
How many Karens does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one...to call 911 and demand a cop come do something about the intimidating blackness.
There were once three brothers, Shit, Shut up, and Manners. One day, Shit got hit by a car. Shut up went to find help at the local police station while Manners tried to help Shit.
When Shut up got to the police station he says, "My brother has just been hit by a car."
The policeman replied with, "OK then, first I need to know your name."
"Shut up."
"No, I need to know your name."
"Shut up."
"Excuse me, but where are your manners?"
"Round the corner picking up shit."
How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they all beat the room for being black.
How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they just arrest the lightbulb for being broke and beat the room for being black.
The Big Bang happened 16.8 billion years ago, and matter cannot be created or destroyed. Therefore, we are all technically 16.8 billion years old. So, to answer your question, officer, yes, she is of age.
You know, it's only considered murder if there's a body. Otherwise, it's just a missing person.