What’s the difference between white people and Black people?
One runs from the police, one runs for the police.
What’s the difference between white people and Black people?
One runs from the police, one runs for the police.
Last Halloween, I went dressed as a woman. When I rang the doorbell, an elderly woman opened it, and I made a grunting noise and knocked the bowl of candy out of her hands.
She immediately called the police and told them exactly what happened. The officer pulled me aside and asked me a few questions. First, he asked if my parents were here, and I said nothing. Concerned by my answer, he then asked if I was okay, so I said nothing. He asked me what my name was, and I responded, "Hellen Keller."
COP: Are you high?
ME: If I was high, could I do this? *walks in a perfectly straight line*
COP: Wth he just walked off a cliff.
Friend: How dark IS your humor?
Me: It started an organization against cops.
The police department made a new machine that will teleport you back to prison if you commit a crime. The police release 4 criminals: a hacker, a rapist, a serial killer, and a drug lord. The hacker tries to hack a bank. The hacker gets teleported back to prison. The drug lord tries to cook meth. The drug lord gets teleported back to prison. Now the serial killer decides that she wants to change, but when she sees a knife she just can’t help it. She bends down to pick up the knife and the rapist gets teleported back to prison.
I am an actual police officer (Not gonna mention with which department in case they actually check this site) and tbh I find these jokes funny as fuck, carry on boys.
Did you hear about the dyslexic American police officer?
He shot a Ginger.
What do you get when you cross a bisexual male that is a catholic priest and a christian police officer that is a bisexual male and a born again homophobic heteroflexable male that is a christian nationalist who is in the closet a gay man that needs to be force out of the closet by any means necessary?
A gay guy and a trucker get in a car crash.
The gay guy says, "Somebody call the police! This man just rammed into me!"
The trucker says, "What the fuck did you just say, fucker? Get over here, I'm gonna wreck your ass!"
The gay man then says, "It's okay, everybody, don't call the police! He wants to negotiate."
Today is sad. My sister got hit by a car, and I lost my license as a driver.
There is one rapist among us.
Me: Now I know why Michael Jackson turned white.
The police: You finally figured it out.