Police

Police Jokes

My grandfather has been through a lot in his time. When he was in the war, he survived a mustard gas attack. And later down the line, he survived being pepper sprayed by the police. He was certainly a real seasoned veteran.

If you ever get chased by a police dog, try not to go through a tunnel, then on to a little seesaw, then jump through a hoop of fire. They're trained for that.

A turtle was walking down the street when suddenly a snail came and robbed him. When the police came he asked what happened, the turtle responded '' I don't know, it all happened so fast''.

What happened to the police that crossed the road?

Solved a murder involving the nut case.

Someone stole my grass today, I went to the police and they said: "What's wrong?" I said "How could you tell something was wrong?" they replied "you were looking forlorn"

i went to my local shooting range today but was surprised to see that the news reported a school shooting there, i still dont know who snitched...

So a guy is evading the draft, the cops bang on his door and he runs out the back and through and alley way onto a road. He finds a nun and asks if he can hide under her blouse, she complies and the cops walk by and dont see them. The man comes back up from under the nuns blouse and says”Hey man, youve got a pair of balls!” The nun says, “I didnt wanna be drafted either....”

so i was asleep and woke up and went to work my wife left already to her job i was driving my car and ran over someone i woke up in my bed realized it was all a dream 20 minutes later i got a phone call the my wife got hit bye a car

A woman buys a house, but she doesn't know what to name the house. So she stuck her head outside and heard 'Hairy butt', so she named the House hairy butt. The next month she had a baby, but she didn't know what to name him. So she stuck her head outside and heard 'crack, so she named the baby crack. After a year or two she lost him so she called the police and said'Help! I looked all over my hairy butt but I couldn't find my little crack.

I was watching the local chief police in America, he said, "We will never forget 911." I thought, "I should hope not, it's your phone number."

3