Play jokes
Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys? He was playing by ear.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can never find home.
Why can't an orphan play Family Feud? Because it has to have a family.
When Jim was playing on his phone, my grandfather told him, "You use way too much technology!" Jim then said, "No, YOU use too much technology!" and then Jim disconnected his grandfather’s life support.
So, I hooked up with a girl at a party, but I forgot that it was a family reunion.
(SWEET HOME ALABAMA STARTS PLAYING)
When you have nothing else to do in your life btw this is someone i know whos rude af
I was watching my son play at the park, and a lady asked me, "Which one is yours?" And for fun, I said, "I don't know, I'm still choosing."
Why didn't the skeleton play football?
His heart wasn't in it!
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
Baseball is awesome!
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find home.
Why can’t American people play chess?
Because they lost their towers.
What's a game a paraplegic kid can't play?
Hopscotch.
Friend 1: Eyyy gurl
Me: Hey! (Fake smile)
Friend 2: Hey g-guys what 'bout we play would you rather?
6 hours later
Friend 2: So (name) would u rather? 1. "Hang" out with me Or 2. "Jump" 1 times?
Me...e-eh?...Why not both????? We could just "Jump" while "Hanging" out right?
I taught my dog how to play the trumpet on the London Underground over the weekend.
He went from Barking to Tooting in just under 20 minutes.
Why are Mexicans good at Uno?
They always steal the green card.
What do you call a dancing chair?
Ring around a Rosie.
Can anyone play me in a no limits femdom RP on Kik?
I've started playing the triangle for a reggae band. It's pretty casual.
I just stand at the back and ting.
I knew you played football because your hairline is receding.
Little Natalie was playing with matches. Her mother caught her, took them, whupped her, and told her never to play with matches again.
A few minutes later, Little Natalie was playing with matches again. The curtains caught fire, and the house burned down.
Another few minutes later, when she and her mother were sitting at their neighbors', her mother told her: "If you think I gave you a whupping, wait till your father gets home!"
Little Natalie just cackled with delight because she knew her father had gotten home earlier and gone upstairs to take a nap.