Play Jokes

mixed joke boom box
in Little Johnny

Little Johnny runs up to his mother and says, “mommy mommy, the other day I was playing with my ball upstairs and my ball got away and into your closet, and when I went to get it, daddy came in with the lady next door and they started hugging and kissing and the lady next door took off daddy’s clothes and daddy took off the clothes from the lady next door, and they both got into your bed, and the lady next door got on top of daddy and started…”. The mother cuts him off and says “just stop right there. You wait until your daddy comes home so you can tell him everything you just told me.” Couple hours later the father arrives and walks through the door to find his wife and child with bags packed. She walks up to him and slaps across the face shouting “I’m leaving you… Go ahead Johnny, tell him what you told me earlier.” Johnny steps forward to tell his daddy. “Daddy, the other day I was playing with my ball upstairs and my ball got away and into your closet, and when I went to get it, you came in with the lady next door and you both started hugging and kissing and the lady next door took off your clothes and you took off the clothes from the lady next door, and you both got into your bed, and the lady next door got on top of you and started doing the same thing mom did with uncle joe last summer.”

Anonymous
in Orphan

why cant a orphan play family fued because it has to have a family

3
Anonymous
in Orphan

why can’t orphans play online games. Because they don’t have parents to sign them up

4
D.K.

I was watching my daughter at a park she was playing with a few people another parent came up to me and said which was is yours, just for fun i said “i am still choosing” she looked horrified

Kamikaze

if a toy from toy story died, the kid wouldn’t know and the other toys would just have to watch as their kid played with the corpse

4
Anonymous
in Music

Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys? He was playing by ear.

Hardlynkrmalp5
in Dark Humor

I kicked a soccer ball at the kid in the wheelchair Now we’re playing rocket league

Mystery

Why do orphans play GTA?

So they can feel wanted

A Ghost...
in Depression

friend: hey,wanna play hid and seek? me:sure, i’ve got a great spot! me: grabs nuce and runs to my closet

Anonymous
in Little Johnny

Little Johnny was playing with his train and said all you motherfckers who want to get off get off and all you motherfckers who want to get on get on his mother here’s him and said is that you cussing. The mother said go to your room for 1 hour little Johnny goes to his room then little johnny comes back one hour later and said all you motherfckers who wanna get off get off and all you motherfckers who wanna get on get on and if you wanna know about the 1 hour delay go ask the b*tch in the kitchen.

8
dlm579
in Little Johnny

Little Johnny and little Sally walked in on Mommy and Daddy going at it in the bedroom doggy style. They innocently ask, “Mommy, Daddy what are you doing?” Mommy xays, “Oh, Daddy is just parking his car in Mommy’s garage, now go and play”
A few minutes later they hear a blood curdling squeal and run to see what was the matter. Little Johnny is running in circles squealing and little Sally says, “Well little Johnny was trying to park his car in my garage and he couldn’t get the back wheels in so l she l took the sissors and cut them off.”

Anonymous
in Orphan

As siblings we always joke about being adopted it stops being funny when your playing in your parents room and find both of your adoption papers

Thats funny
in Titanic

Do you want to play titanic?

When i say iceberg you go down on me

🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕
in Little Johnny

Little Johnny went on a camping trip. All the tents we’re taken so her shared with the teacher. So Little Johnny says: Can I play with your bellybutton my mom always let’s me when we camp. So the teacher says: Sure 5 minutes later the teacher says: Woah Woah Woah that’s not my bellybutton! Little Johnny says: Woah Woah Woah thats not my finger.

Anonymous
in Arms

Boys: “Hey, can billy come out and play baseball?” Mom: “That’s not funny, you know billy doesn’t have any arms and legs” Boys: “I know, we need a third base”

Nicholas

i was watching my son play at the park and a lady asked me. “which one is yours” and for fun i said “i don’t know i’m still choosing”.

Anonymous

Why can’t Indians play football… cause every time they take a corner they make a shop

8
Ur MoM;)
in Orphan

Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be Wanted.

Why are orphans bad at poker? They don’t know what a full house is.

I saw a child crying yesterday so I asked him where his parents were. Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage.

What do you call an orphan’s family reunion? Me time.

Did you know? The letter ‘f’ in orphan stands for family.

What is an orphan’s least favorite song? We are Family.

What’s an orphan’s least favorite tv show? Family Guy.

What’s an orphan’s least favorite movie? Meet the Parents.

What’s an orphan’s least favorite type of music? House.

Next: Inappropriate Jokes

What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot.

What’s an orphan’s favorite band? Foster the People.

What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.

Where do orphan chickens end up? Foster Farms

What beer do orphans drink? Foster’s.

Why do orphans have water with their cereal? Because their dad never came back with the milk.

What do you call a fish with no parents? An orfin

Why do orphans like playing tennis? Because it’s the only love they get.

Me: Are you an orphan? Orphan: Yes, what gave me away? Me: Your parents.

Anonymous

Lmao idiots don’t know how to play Jenga.

Anonymous

Why doesn’t the US wanna play chess with the UK?

The US is already down 2 towers and the UK has a unkillable queen.