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Boys: “Hey, can Billy come out and play baseball?”

Mom: “That would be fine, but he hasn’t come out of his room since Friday.”

Boys: “Have you checked the closet?”

My mom told me that my friend Paul is coming over, and he is going to sleep over, so I was happy.

The next day, I ask my mom, "Where's the dog?" My mom asks me, "What dog?"

Then I said to my mom, "I heard Paul say, 'Do you want it doggy?' and you said 'Yeah.'"

Why can’t orphans have phones?

Because it has a home button.

Why don’t orphans play baseball?

Because they can’t get a home run.