Me: Want to play 911?
My little brother: What's that?
Me: It's where I kick your legs and you fall.
when you don't have a phone to play Fruit Ninja and improvise.
Why can't the orphan play the game of life? They don't know what a family road trip is. 😆
Tits are like Lego bricks. They're there for the kid, but dad ends up playing with them.
Why can't Asians play cricket? They'll eat the bat.
Boys: “Hey, can Billy come out and play baseball?”
Mom: “That’s not funny, you know Billy doesn’t have any arms and legs.”
Boys: “I know, we need a third base.”
"You wanna play the rape game?" "No." "That's the spirit!"
My son is so ungrateful. I bought him a trampoline and all he does is sit in his wheelchair and cry all day.
Little Johnny and little Sally walked in on Mommy and Daddy going at it in the bedroom doggy style. They innocently ask, "Mommy, Daddy what are you doing?"
Mommy says, "Oh, Daddy is just parking his car in Mommy's garage, now go and play."
A few minutes later they hear a blood curdling squeal and run to see what was the matter.
Little Johnny is running in circles squealing and little Sally says, "Well little Johnny was trying to park his car in my garage and he couldn't get the back wheels in so I took the scissors and cut them off."
Incest. A game the whole family can play.
What did they do with Michael Jackson when he died?
He got so many plastic surgeries that they melted him down into legos and let kids play with him for a change.
What is the difference between a Rubik’s cube and a penis? I don’t know, but they both get harder the more you play with them.
Why does Michael Jackson like to play ping pong or table tennis? He likes to play with the little balls.
The quiet kid starts playing "Pumped Up Kicks" in the parking lot before school.
Why do they make glow-in-the-dark condoms?
So gay people can play Star Wars.
I was playing hangman, and I gave up on the word "LIFE".
what do you get when you play a country song backwards? you get your wife, your house, and your kids back.
A priest and a rabbi are walking down the street, and they come to a kid playing in a sandbox. The priest says, "Hey, you wanna go screw that kid?"
To which the rabbi replies, "Out of what?"
Me: Wanna play 9/11?
Friend: What's that?
Me: It's a game where I kick you in both legs and watch you fall.
Boy and girl playing hide and seek... girl: "I found you." Boy: "What gave me away?" Girl: "Ur parents obviously."
