Play Jokes

in China

When I was teaching my dog tricks, a Chinese man came to me and asked why was I playing with my food.

in Despacito

this is so sad, Alexa play despacito


Me and my little brother were playing Call Of Duty. He wasn’t doing very good so I told him so. My brother said to me, “at least I don’t have to camp in order to get kills”. I then responded with, “I would call you cancer, but at least cancer kills”.

in Adoption

Why can’t orphans play baseball?

They can’t ever find home.


I brought my cousin to an arcade and I gave her 5$ to go play a game but she tugged my joy stick to hard

in Card

A couple of cows were smoking a joint and playing cards… The steaks were pretty high

School Shooter Memes

When the school shooter misses you but you gotta play it off;


Why is a wet pavement like playing music?

If you don’t C sharp you’ll B flat.

in Depression

Imagine your new playing GTA and you finally found out how to take out a gun: Option 1:shoot someone Option 2:suicide

Me: aren’t they the same thing?

in Yo mama

Yo mama so stupid, she hides behind a glass door when playing hide and seek.


What’s the most played game in Africa? Hunger Games.

in Russian

My friend loves playing Roulette, so I figured I would introduce him to Russian Roulette. Blew his mind.


(I want to apologize in advance. These are very dark jokes)

  1. What’s red and bad for your teeth? A brick

  2. I was going to tell a dead baby joke. But I decided to abort.

  3. Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle? His wife is dead.

4.Why does Helen Keller hate porcupines? They’re painful to look at.

  1. Why can’t orphans play baseball? They don’t know where home is.

  2. Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

  3. I asked a pretty, young homeless woman if I could take her home. She smiled at me and said yes. The look on her face soon changed, however, when I walked off with her cardboard box.

  4. My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children. If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.


" Why is it that Orphans only play tennis" That’s the only love they can get"…

in Depression

Friend: Want to play fall guys?

Friend 2: Yup

Friend: Ok so let me ju- wait where are you going?

Friend 2: I’m gonna jump off

Friend: Why?

Friend 2: We are playing Fall Guys, right?


I was watching my daughter play at the park, a woman came up to me and asked which one was mine, I said I was still choosing.


What where the twin towers plains

Gods playing Jenga


Tits are like Lego bricks. They’re there for the kid, but dad ends up playing with them.

in Kidnapping

A man is sitting on a bench at a playground where children are playing while a man named Chris comes up and asks “which one is yours?” The man said “I don’t know i’m still deciding.”

in Bad

What do u call a man who plays Fortnite 24/7 A: a virgin