Why was it so hard for the pirate to call his mom? Because she left the phone off the hook!
me: hey siri, did you know Candice died?
Siri: yes I was informed she died from sugondese
me: wat is dat?
Siri: sugondese nuts
do you know what the equivalent to hell is theses days 1. listening to your teacher 2. not haveing your phone/ game / tv 3. not haveing niccotine
If orphans made phones it wouldn't have a home button
I called my mom on Alexa and she told me "please take out the trash" and I said "but I can't ur not here
Me, "Hey are your parents home?" Orphan; "Stop calling here."
*me in the corner*
the coffee was getting mugged so it called 911
What do turtles đ˘ use to communicate?
A shellphone!
I just got a text on my cell bone be right back ;)
What time do you call me tomorrow
My screen lock is my favorite picture of my wife. When I'm on a 14-hour shift, being miserable, hating my life... I pull out my phone and gaze at the picture of my wife. Then I realize it's better here than at home with her ass.
One spelling mistake can completely ruin your marriage
I accidentally texted my wife âIâm having a wonderful time. I wish you were her.â
why shouldnt orphans get a phone?
they would get stuck in a app because they cant find the home button
*gets hit by a car*
Passerby: "ARE YOU OKAY?"
Me: "Please...I need my...phone"
*opens twitter*
Me: "LMFAOOOOOOO YALL GUESS WHAT"
when hotline bling i only need one thing
Ring Ring Hi I've been needing to call you your hairline has been found by dora after 25 years
The emo girl got jellest that here phone dead and not her
(Phone call) This is Franks funeral home and grill where yesterdayâs grief is todays beef. How may we help you ?
Grandma isnât responding. Close app, wait, cancel.
Which do you choose?
Why doesn't the orphans phone have a homepage being it doesn't have a home
