How do oysters call their friends?
On shell phones!
one day, little Sally hears the phone ringing. she picks it up "Hello, this is daddy, Sally. Is your mom nearby." Sally says, "No, shes upstairs with Uncle john" "Uncle john? i don't know an Uncle John." "no, no, no, you must be mistaken, daddy" "no i'm sure there's no one named Uncle John in our family." "Okay, but why did you call?" Says Sally. "Ummm no reason, just tell mommy that daddy's pulling into the driveway right now." "Okay daddy!"
*long pause*
"Okay daddy! I did it!' "Great job Sally! What did she says?"
"Mommy said OH FU.. and then she ran around with no clothes on and tripped on the carpet and hit her head on the bookshelf. shes now resting it looks like... then Uncle John screams and jumps out the window into the swimming pool, but of course we took all the water out this winter..."
then dad replies "Swimming pool? we dont have a...is this 468-1843?"
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Me:dad my phone is broken Dad:how Me:i clicked the home button but im still at school Dad:stupid
When you play flappy bird in 9/11 the bird is a blane and the obstical courses are towers
How did the orphan operate the phone? He didn't. He didn't understand the home page.
Why can’t Orphans pick up their phone after school...? Because they need their parents to go pick it up
Sometimes i get jealous when my phone dies.
Why? You ask. Because it only takes one charge to bring it back to life.
why cant orphan use a phone? because they dont have a home screan
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
whats one thing youll never find in lost and found? your dad
I keep trying to call my emo friend... They keep hanging up
My Mum texted me she had lost her phone
I found this game, it's like flappy bird.:https://terrorist.group/
I get jealous when my phone dies
Why can’t orphans have phones Because it has a home button
so i was asleep and woke up and went to work my wife left already to her job i was driving my car and ran over someone i woke up in my bed realized it was all a dream 20 minutes later i got a phone call the my wife got hit bye a car
Orphans dont have Phones,because the Home Button doesnt work
what do crows use when they get a phone? a CAWing card!
2 women, Jane and Emma, are in the afterlife waiting for judgement. Emma turns to Jane and says "I'm just curious, but how did you die?"
Jane replies with "I burnt to death."
Emma, shocked, responds with "That sounds horrible! What was it like?"
Jane answers with "It first felt really hot and painful, but then I felt nothing. How did you die?"r> Emma replies with "Well, I believed my husband was cheating on me. I decided to leave work early one day to make sure he was loyal. I found him on the phone with his mother. I thought he was hiding something from me so I ran to the bedroom and found nothing. Then I sprinted to the kitchen and didn't find anything. I then jolted outside to the backyard and just found that he hadn't cleaned the pool. I was so tired from running that I fell over into the pool and drowned."
Jane retorts with "Well if you checked the oven neither of us would be here right now."
