Phone jokes
I just got a text on my cell. Bone be right back ;)
What STD can you get from phone sex?
Hearing AIDS.
Good day tomorrow, and what day are they still good today? Good time. Love day! A great night time and...
Joker gives Batman a phone.
Thomas: "Uhh, son, we need to talk... about the uhh, dressing up."
Martha: "Hello dearie, Brucie, is it ok if you visit me when you go to Joker's house?"
When you unplug the charger to charge your phone, but you realize it was plugged into your grandpa's life support:
true
My girlfriend lives a few miles away from me.
The other night, she called me at around 3 AM. She was terrified. She said that there were two armed gunmen in her apartment.
With all that adrenaline going through my system, it made it hard to go back to sleep.
What do crows use when they get a phone?
A "CAWing" card!
When an American goes on a scale, the other person will say, "I asked for your weight, not your phone number!"
POV: Your grandma is on life support. I would unplug her life support to charge my third phone.
Yo head so big I can skate on yo head.
I'm talking bout real real big, set a plate on yo head, charge a phone on yo head, build a home on yo head, studio wide, write a song on yo head.
Police arrested a man who dropped his phone in the ocean. The was charged with a salt in battery.
Why don’t Asians use phones?
Cuz they wing da wrong number!!!
Redmi
Joke 1# "Knock, knock." Who's there? "Pastur." Pastur who? "Past ur bedtime."
Joke 2# Why does a slug always win a race? Because its components always stop for a break.
Joke 3# Your momma's so fat when she stepped on the scale it said, "I asked for your weight, not your phone number."
Don’t have phone sex without protection, you might get hearing aids!
Q: My scale had my phone number on it. Wandering why, I looked up only to see an elephant in my face...
I tried phone sex once, lost my bits to a stray "call waiting" beep. Very painful. Never again.
Me: Can I get your mom's number?
Friend: Here you go:
Me: Ohh, strange, I already had it.
What phone do midgets use?
A MICROphone.
If someone calls you, just say:
"This is Peter's abortion clinic and pizza restaurant, where yesterday's loss is today's sauce!"