Phone

Phone jokes

Rapper

How did the rapper find his missing phone?

He checked the track list.

Text

Did you get your phone from the desert? No wonder why your texts are always so dry.

Signal

There's a girl I like in my school, but she's always on her phone. It seems that I can't get a SIGNAL from her.

Exit

I needed to take a phone call, so I went to the nearest exit. I guess you can say it was very exciting! 😂

Sex

I heard my neighbors having sex, and it was annoying me, so I called my girlfriend to ask if she wanted to go out, but when I called her, I heard my neighbors' phone ringing.

Memes

Orphan

Man: Why can't an orphan use Verizon?

Kid: Why?

Man: 'Cause they have a family plan.

Kid: Oh, then I need to switch phone services then.

Man: Why?

Kid: I'm an orphan.

Man: *laughs out loud* That's tough!

(You can tell the joke shortened by saying, "Why can't an orphan use Verizon? 'Cause they have a family plan.")

Mama

Yo mama so fat that when she took a selfie, she needed two phones.

App

Best pick up line EVER.

There is an app on your phone called ringer. Go into it. There is a 12 to 15 digit number. Enter that into my phone, my dick will get 12 to 15 inches longer.

Mum

Your mum is so stupid, when she went on your phone it got fat.

Grandma

I went to the store because I had to go to school to run up downstairs because my phone started calling me because I was playing Mario Kart on my kitchen sink's baby grandma, like if you cry every time.

Head

Yo head so big I can skate on yo head.

I'm talking bout real real big, set a plate on yo head, charge a phone on yo head, build a home on yo head, studio wide, write a song on yo head.

Elephant

Q: My scale had my phone number on it. Wandering why, I looked up only to see an elephant in my face...

Orphan

Why was the orphan kid bad at school? Because he wanted a phone call home.

Car

Looking at me is like being on your phone, in a car, on a long trip. You're fine for the first 10 minutes, then after that you feel sick.

Cookout

I just got off the phone with Kristen Stewart yesterday. She said I was invited to her cookout this Friday. I said I'll come by and bring some drinks, like wine, beer, and liquor, so we can get our freak on all night and drink some cherry wine until daybreak ends.

Name

What is your name in my phone?

I love your house. I have been in your art for.