Phone jokes
Why can’t orphans have phones?
Because it has a home button.
Why don’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can’t get a home run.
It may be weird to let people smell your hair, but grab the phone as soon as the dwarf says your hair smells nice.
Your momma so fat, when she stepped on the weighing scales, her phone number came up!
Me: Dad, my phone is broken.
Dad: How?
Me: I clicked the home button, but I'm still at school.
Dad: Stupid.
Looking at me is like being on your phone, in a car, on a long trip. You're fine for the first 10 minutes, then after that you feel sick.
How do you really piss off your girlfriend while having sex?
Call her on the phone.
What is your name in my phone?
I love your house. I have been in your art for.
What do crows use when they get a phone?
A "CAWing" card!
Women say men are trash.
Yet men made the phone, laptops, computer and electrical hardware she uses to say men are trash, never mind the electricity she uses to power those devices...
Why do trees never call emo kids?
The emos always hang up on them.
Yo mama is so fat, the doctor asked for her weight, she told her phone number.
Sometimes my battery life has the same recognition as me :(
If orphans made phones, it wouldn't have a home button.
Me: 911, I just killed someone.
Cops: Cool, we will not come.
Me: Why?
Cops: Don't admit a crime.
Phones: *Bang Bang*
Me: Well, that was 2 crimes done.
I asked the emo at my school if he got jealous when his phone died.
I knew a girl that died from having phone sex... She died of hearing aids.
A few days ago, I phoned up the spiritual leader of Tibet, and he sent me a large goat with a long neck. Turns out I phoned Dial-a-Llama.
What did the cell phone say to his wife?
"I will give you a ring."
Yo momma is so fat, when she got on the scale it said, "I need your weight, not your phone number."
Watersharky Music Productions Presents As It Was by Harry Styles.
Holdin' me back Gravity's holdin' me back I want you to hold out the palm of your hand Why don't we leave it at that?
Nothin' to say When everything gets in the way Seems you cannot be replaced And I'm the one who will stay, oh-oh-oh
In this world, it's just us You know it's not the same as it was In this world, it's just us You know it's not the same as it was As it was, as it was You know it's not the same
Answer the phone "Harry, you're no good alone Why are you sitting at home on the floor? What kind of pills are you on?"
Ringin' the bell And nobody's coming to help Your daddy lives by himself He just wants to know that you're well, oh-oh-oh
In this world, it's just us You know it's not the same as it was In this world, it's just us You know it's not the same as it was As it was, as it was You know it's not the same
Go home, get ahead, light-speed internet I don't wanna talk about the way that it was Leave America, two kids follow her I don't wanna talk about who's doin' it first.