Phone jokes

Warning! Cringe Alert!

What happens when you leave your phone at jail?

It becomes a cell phone.

Your mama so fat when she steps on the scale, the scale said, "I'm trying to get your weight, not your phone number!"

Your mum is so cute that I asked for her number and she said yes, and now we're dating.

I tried to have phone sex once.

But the holes were too small.

People shouldn't worry about how orphans would feel reading these jokes. It's not like they have parents to buy them a phone or computer to see them, or even a place to charge them even if they did have one.

My joke is your life support getting unplugged because my phone is about to die.

What is an orphan's first phone?

An iPhone 12. Wanna know why?

It has no home button :D

Prankster pranks.

Fake lobster in the toilet. 8:00 a.m.

Prank phone calls. 9:00 a.m.

When is the last time you picked up the phone?

Friend: My mum took my phone from me, and I really want it back.

Me: Yeah, well, Hades took my parents from me, and the funny thing is, I don't want them back.

I was dying when I called my sister and she said, "Hi, this is Pepperoni's pizza and abortion clinic; your loss, our sauce. How may I help you today?"

Man: Why can't an orphan use Verizon?

Kid: Why?

Man: 'Cause they have a family plan.

Kid: Oh, then I need to switch phone services then.

Man: Why?

Kid: I'm an orphan.

Man: *laughs out loud* That's tough!

(You can tell the joke shortened by saying, "Why can't an orphan use Verizon? 'Cause they have a family plan.")

I tried phone sex once, lost my bits to a stray "call waiting" beep. Very painful. Never again.

I was going to charge my phone, so I pulled a plug and put it in. Then, my grandpa wasn't breathing anymore.

America's police phone number is 911 because that is the day they lost everything.

I gave a homeless person a phone but did not give him a home button.

Yo mama is so fat, the doctor asked for her weight, she told her phone number.

I am so disappointed in this race.

Brown skinned street shitters, goddamn, the lowest of the low southeast Asians, lazy monkey pig-dog duck fetus eating rice brainlets always on their phones, no IQ, ugly, uncivilized untermensch subhumans.

What is your name in my phone?

I love your house. I have been in your art for.

Why do orphans have phones?

Because they don't know how to call home.