Phone jokes

I heard my neighbors having sex, and it was annoying me, so I called my girlfriend to ask if she wanted to go out, but when I called her, I heard my neighbors' phone ringing.

I needed to take a phone call, so I went to the nearest exit. I guess you can say it was very exciting! 😂

Why can't an orphan have a phone?

Because they will see a home.

What is an orphan's first phone?

An iPhone 12. Wanna know why?

It has no home button :D

Prankster pranks.

Fake lobster in the toilet. 8:00 a.m.

Prank phone calls. 9:00 a.m.

Friend: My mum took my phone from me, and I really want it back.

Me: Yeah, well, Hades took my parents from me, and the funny thing is, I don't want them back.

When is the last time you picked up the phone?

I was dying when I called my sister and she said, "Hi, this is Pepperoni's pizza and abortion clinic; your loss, our sauce. How may I help you today?"

Man: Why can't an orphan use Verizon?

Kid: Why?

Man: 'Cause they have a family plan.

Kid: Oh, then I need to switch phone services then.

Man: Why?

Kid: I'm an orphan.

Man: *laughs out loud* That's tough!

(You can tell the joke shortened by saying, "Why can't an orphan use Verizon? 'Cause they have a family plan.")

I was going to charge my phone, so I pulled a plug and put it in. Then, my grandpa wasn't breathing anymore.

America's police phone number is 911 because that is the day they lost everything.

I gave a homeless person a phone but did not give him a home button.

Me when my girlfriend comes home, I check her phone and there are 100 texts from a different guy asking her out, and her text says yes.

Get the whip, you're out!

Your mum is so stupid, when she went on your phone it got fat.

Yo mama is so fat, the doctor asked for her weight, she told her phone number.

Why couldn't people have their phone on airplane mode during 9/11?

Because their phone exploded the towers.

Hey Siri, what’s in my bank account?

You stupid shit, piece of elephant crap, you’re so ugly that when you were born, your nickname was bastard! You’re so ugly, that your crush fainted in front of you and was proclaimed dead! You’re so ugly that-

(Destroys phone cutely)

I am so disappointed in this race.

Brown skinned street shitters, goddamn, the lowest of the low southeast Asians, lazy monkey pig-dog duck fetus eating rice brainlets always on their phones, no IQ, ugly, uncivilized untermensch subhumans.

Yo mama so fat that when she took a selfie, she needed two phones.

I saw this boy named Phone. He said where would he live? I said an orphanage.