Phone jokes
I needed to take a phone call, so I went to the nearest exit. I guess you can say it was very exciting! 😂
A policeman once said, "I will never forget 9/11."
I said, "I hope not, that’s your phone number!"
What did grandpa say before he died in the hospital bed?
"Boy, could you put my phone on charging?"
Me, trying to interact with people: “Hey, are you a rope? Because I really wanna HANG with you.”
Person I’m talking to: *Pulling out phone to call suicide hotline* “haha what.”
I can't believe the suicide hotline put my cousin on hold. They left him hanging.
Alfonso's mom is so fat that she stepped on the scale and the doctor said, "Oh shit, that's my phone number!"
Your mum sat on a phone, and she turned it into a pancake.
I love you, my new phone! 📲
Why couldn't the orphan get an Android? Because it didn't have a home button.
The first time you have a new phone, you have a different one. You can change your phone to a new phone, but it doesn’t change the phone, it’s just different. I think it will work. I just think it would look good, and then it would work, but you don’t know if it’s the right thing for the new one. You just know it’s the wrong. It’s a bad phone. It’s a new thing. It’s the same for different every day, but it doesn’t look, and I think so it’s not a good, but it works, so it’s different, so it’s different for the new phone, and it doesn’t have to work on it. It doesn’t matter to the same for you know it’s just the one but it doesn’t have the one that I can do a lot better and I can just use my new one, but it is not that the new iPhone, so you have the one that’s the other is that I have the same thing and it’s the same phone, but I have to get the new iPhone. I just want it and then you have a good and it’s a different number so it’s just like so it’s just one, but you know it’s not like I have the new iPhone so you know it’s just one so it’s a little more than just the one and it will get the new phone so it’s just easier and cheaper for the money but it won’t cost much more to pay off your car than to get the phone for the next two weeks weeks or even two years to to have the car car fixed so it’s easier and quicker and I will be happy I’m happy happy I’m so excited excited thank y all and I will talk soon and have you have an update as to the results soon thank ya again so far hope all goes all are good hope to be in your class today love and have you been in your dreams hope all your day too bye.
My "overweight" friend and I were talking at lunch.
Overweight friend: Man, why you so ugly, dude?
Me: *annoyed* Jason, when you stepped on the scale this morning, it asked for your weight, not your phone number.
What does a phone and a grandma have in common? They both die.
What's the difference between them? If you shove something up your grandma's ass, she won't come back to life.
A Chinese teacher's phone rang as he was going to class, and he said:
"My phone the ring ring, it's my wife ring ring."
The emo girl got jealous that her phone died and not her.
Teacher: I’m gonna call your parents.
Orphan: Go on, see if they pick up.
*gets hit by a car*
Passerby: "ARE YOU OKAY?"
Me: "Please...I need my...phone."
*opens twitter*
Me: "LMFAOOOOOOO YALL GUESS WHAT"
What do cells always have on them?
A cell phone!
Why can't an orphan have a phone?
Because they will see a home.
Why did the ACLU block the cellphone number of a Christian nationalist minister? Because the Christian nationalist had a virus on his cellphone and kept calling the ACLU because he wanted to join the ACLU because he wanted to become a card-carrying member of the ACLU.
How do you call a cop?
Through the phone.
(My puns are bad)