Phone jokes

Prankster pranks.

Fake lobster in the toilet. 8:00 a.m.

Prank phone calls. 9:00 a.m.

Warning! Cringe Alert!

What happens when you leave your phone at jail?

It becomes a cell phone.

Your mama so fat when she steps on the scale, the scale said, "I'm trying to get your weight, not your phone number!"

I was dying when I called my sister and she said, "Hi, this is Pepperoni's pizza and abortion clinic; your loss, our sauce. How may I help you today?"

I heard my neighbors having sex, and it was annoying me, so I called my girlfriend to ask if she wanted to go out, but when I called her, I heard my neighbors' phone ringing.

There's a girl I like in my school, but she's always on her phone. It seems that I can't get a SIGNAL from her.

I needed to take a phone call, so I went to the nearest exit. I guess you can say it was very exciting! 😂

Did you get your phone from the desert? No wonder why your texts are always so dry.

Man: Why can't an orphan use Verizon?

Kid: Why?

Man: 'Cause they have a family plan.

Kid: Oh, then I need to switch phone services then.

Man: Why?

Kid: I'm an orphan.

Man: *laughs out loud* That's tough!

(You can tell the joke shortened by saying, "Why can't an orphan use Verizon? 'Cause they have a family plan.")

I went to the store because I had to go to school to run up downstairs because my phone started calling me because I was playing Mario Kart on my kitchen sink's baby grandma, like if you cry every time.

What do you call a phone that talks?

A reader in a leader.

Do emos get jealous when their phone dies?

Why couldn't people have their phone on airplane mode during 9/11?

Because their phone exploded the towers.

Me when my girlfriend comes home, I check her phone and there are 100 texts from a different guy asking her out, and her text says yes.

Get the whip, you're out!

Yo mama so fat that when she took a selfie, she needed two phones.

Hey Siri, what’s in my bank account?

You stupid shit, piece of elephant crap, you’re so ugly that when you were born, your nickname was bastard! You’re so ugly, that your crush fainted in front of you and was proclaimed dead! You’re so ugly that-

(Destroys phone cutely)

Yo mama is so fat, the doctor asked for her weight, she told her phone number.

Best pick up line EVER.

There is an app on your phone called ringer. Go into it. There is a 12 to 15 digit number. Enter that into my phone, my dick will get 12 to 15 inches longer.

I'll unplug your life support for my phone that's about to die.

Looking at me is like being on your phone, in a car, on a long trip. You're fine for the first 10 minutes, then after that you feel sick.