Phone jokes
"Ring Ring! Hi, I've been needing to call you. Your hairline has been found by Dora after 25 years!"
Women say men are trash.
Yet men made the phone, laptops, computer and electrical hardware she uses to say men are trash, never mind the electricity she uses to power those devices...
Stephen Hawking tried to charge his phone and unplugged his life support.
Why are there not that many phones in China? Because there’s too much Wing and Wong, so they will "wing" the wrong number.
What do you call a phone that talks?
A reader in a leader.
If orphans made phones, it wouldn't have a home button.
I knew a girl that died from having phone sex... She died of hearing aids.
Man: Hey Siri!
Siri: Yes?
Man: I'm desperate, will you marry me?
Siri: Uh...
*phone literally explodes*
I keep trying to call my emo friend. They keep hanging up.
What do crows use when they get a phone?
A "CAWing" card!
What phone do orphans have?
An iPhone 10R.
Two plus two is four. Minus one, that's three, quick maths. Every day, man's on the block. Smoke trees (Ah). See your girl in the park. That girl is a uckers. When the ting went quack-quack-quack You man were ducking (You man ducked). Hold tight, Asznee (My brudda). He's got the pumpy (Big ting). Hold tight, my man (My guy). He's got the frisbee (Few). I trap, trap, trap on the phone Movin' that cornflakes (Uh). Rice Krispies. Hold tight, my girl Whitney (My G). On, on, on, on, on the road doin' 10 toes Like my toes (Like my toes). You man thought I froze. I see a peng girl, then I pose (Chilin'). If she ain't on it, I ghost. Hah, look at your nose (Check your nose, fam). You donut. Nose long like garden hose.
How on God's green earth does my boyfriend have a phone?
JK WE NEED TO TALK ILL TYPE THE SECRET CODE (YOU'LL KNOW WHAT IT MEANS.) GREEN PUSSY CAT LIKES BANNANS.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Discord.
Discord who?
I need discord to plug in the phone.
I called my mom on Alexa, and she told me, "Please take out the trash." I said, "But I can't, you're not here."
Best pick up line EVER.
There is an app on your phone called ringer. Go into it. There is a 12 to 15 digit number. Enter that into my phone, my dick will get 12 to 15 inches longer.
When you send nudes to your Roblox gf and your uncle’s phone sounds with a text tone...
One day I woke up and went on my phone. Some "pussy" was calling me. I answered it and said, "Hello, pussy?" and a pussy pic showed up.
Why did an orphan kill ET?
To phone home.
Why don’t orphans have phones?? Because their parents can’t buy them one.