I just got a text on my cell bone be right back ;)
What do turtles š¢ use to communicate?
A shellphone!
Why do orphans that go to there friends house friends mom:go back to your house itās late Finn wait can I have your moms phone number Finn friends mom: wait arenāt you a orfinn wait donāt you have a phone Finn? wait I forgot you donāt have a phone because nobody wanted to get you a phone or to get you
What time do you call me tomorrow
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
One day I was on my phone then I got a text message from my Girl Friend, "Hey Sexy boy wanna hang out tonight if you know what I mean..." then I just stopped and froze I read the message I said, "Yeah sure..." she replied really fast, "Theres going to be a few people there ok." but i didn't read the next message... she said, "Come right at 12:00 AM." but i didn't read it I walked into her house but I heard a strange noise like a moaning noise and it sounded like HER!! so I hide behind the couch and I looked through the open door and saw somthing I didn't want to see... Like for part 2 and comment if you want me to make another!!
Little Johnny was in kindergarten and his teacher said, "okay everyone, Tomorrow you must come to school and recite the first three letters of the alphabet". Johnny didn't know the alphabet so he decided to ask his family. He walked in the kitchen to find his mom on the phone. He says, "Mamma, what's the first letter of the alphabet?" His mom doesn't notice him standing there and says, "If you don't shut the fuck up right now-" So he goes to find his brother watching TV and he says, "Tommy what's the Second letter of the alphabet?" His brother doesn't notice him and says, "I'm Batman". So He went to his Grandma who was knitting and says, "Grandma what's the third letter of the Alphabet?" The grandma then realizes she left her biscuits in the oven for too long and says, "My biscuits are burning! My Biscuits are burning!" Satisfied with the answers given to him he thinks it over and goes to school the next morning. When his teacher come to Johnny she says, "Johnny what are the first three letters of the alphabet?" "If you don't shut the fuck up right now" - Johnny "Who do you think you are young man to talk to someone like me that way?" - teacher "I'm Batman" - Johnny The teacher whups his ass and little johnny says, "My biscuits are burning! My Biscuits are burning!"
Later that day he understands what happened and can't tell which was worse that he accidentally cussed to his teacher or that his family was ignoring him.
What STD can you get from phone sex?
Hearing AIDS
So I was visiting my friends Timmy and Tommy at the phone store and I said, " A, T&T!"
I wanted to play fruit ninja but remembered I donāt have a phone. Guess I gotta draw fruit on my arm
What do phones and orphans have in common? They selfie. (Its because they don't have parents)
A few days ago, I phoned up the spiritual leader of Tibet, and he sent me a large goat with a long neck. Turns out I phoned Dial-a-Llama.
Hoow on god's green earth does my boyfriend have a phone? JK WE NEED TO TALK ILL TYPE THE SECRET CODE (YOU'LL KNOW WHAT IT MEANS.) GREEN PUSSY CAT LIKES BANNANS.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Why doesn't the orphans phone have a homepage being it doesn't have a home
*gets hit by a car*
Passerby: "ARE YOU OKAY?"
Me: "Please...I need my...phone"
*opens twitter*
Me: "LMFAOOOOOOO YALL GUESS WHAT"
Me: truth or dare?
Crush: dare
Me: I dare you to give me your phone number
Crush: umm nevermind truth
Me: ok what is your phone number
man: why cant an orphan use Verizon? kid: i dont know why man: cause they have a family plan kid: well i need to get another phone service now
Abracadabra! Alacuzam! See that woman? Sheās now a man? After the man got some sun, I turned this banana into a gun! Now look! I now have your phone, Apple Watch, and your credit card!
when hotline bling i only need one thing
