Phone jokes
So, I went up to an Australian girl. She looked like she was 20, and I said, "Can I have your phone number, sweetheart?" She said, "696969." I said, "Oh, haha, okay." A few days later, her mother called me and said she's 15.
Why don't Japanese people like iPhones?
Because they are afraid of American airdrops.
Little Johnny tried phone sex, but the holes were too small.
When you unplug the charger to charge your phone, but you realize it was plugged into your grandpa's life support:
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Because his son wanted to charge their phone, so they unplugged him.
America's police phone number is 911 because that is the day they lost everything.
Yo mama so fat, I stood next to her and lost cell phone reception.
An innocent boy is reading through his father’s phone, looking at the messages and trying to learn things about his family from them. He saw a message asking for something which seemed strange, but ultimately the boy decided to surprise his father with what it said.
“Timmy, why are there thirty-five cats in the living room?” shouted the father.
“I was only supplying what you wanted from Mother!” replied the boy.
Why is the iPhone X the perfect phone for an orphan?
Because there is no home button.
What's the difference between a phone and a girl? You can turn it off whenever you want.
I was setting a voice recognition password for my new phone, and a dog nearby barked and ran away. Now I'm still looking for that dog to unlock my phone.
For a present on Christmas, I gave an orphan a phone, just without a home button.
Police arrested a man who dropped his phone in the ocean. The was charged with a salt in battery.
A blonde walks into the doctor's office. She tells the doctor, "My boyfriend has dandruff."
The doctor tells her to use Head and Shoulders. She leaves. About an hour later, the doctor's phone rings. He answers, it's the blonde. The doctor asks how he can help her. "Well doctor, I understand head, but how do you 'hove' shoulders?"
Why don’t Asians use phones?
Cuz they wing da wrong number!!!
Why can’t orphans pick up their phone after school?
Because they need their parents to go pick it up.
Phone: YEETED.
TikTok: DELETED.
Therapy: NEEDED.
Wife: BEATED.
A man walks to the window and opens it and pulls out his phone and takes a photo. "One more picture and I'll jump." He takes another photo and shuts the window. "I can't jump, you're not supposed to throw trash out the window."
I once called a depressed guy [to ask] why he loves ropes so much, and he left HUNGing on the phone. (I'm not English, so I could've talked bad.)
People be like: "What happened to Fruit Ninja? It was on your phone."
Me: "I upgraded, now I can play on my pro max thigh/wrists."