Phone jokes

One day I woke up and went on my phone. Some "pussy" was calling me. I answered it and said, "Hello, pussy?" and a pussy pic showed up.

What happens when you search nudes on my phone?

Nothing, I don't have any.

Why did Stephen Hawking die?

Because his son wanted to charge their phone, so they unplugged him.

POV: Your grandma is on life support. I would unplug her life support to charge my third phone.

Little Johnny was walking on the street alone one day and saw a robber. Little Johnny says to him "Give the mother fucking broken ass piece of shit back!"

To which the robber says "FUCK YOU! I don't wanna."

Little Johnny calls the police and says "A robber is stealing a broken ass piece of shit purse."

The police said "How old are you?"

Little Johnny then hangs up the phone.

Who did Stephen call when he crashed?... The geek squad.

I'm really bored. Can someone talk with me? None of my friends are responding to me :(

Phone rings; "Are your parents home?"

Orphan; "Stop calling here!"

So, I went up to an Australian girl. She looked like she was 20, and I said, "Can I have your phone number, sweetheart?" She said, "696969." I said, "Oh, haha, okay." A few days later, her mother called me and said she's 15.

Mexican words of the day: Green, Pink, and Yellow :))

The phone go green green... I pink it up and say YELLOW!!??

My grandpa asked me to pass him his phone, but I passed him a calculator. He couldn't tell the difference.

Your mama is so stupid, when her phone died, she bared it, lol.

What do you call Thanatos' favorite app on his phone?

What do you call 2 wings and a halo?

A Chinese phone call: "Wing wing halo!" 🤪

I asked my phone why I couldn't get a date.

It showed a picture of myself.

Your mom is so old, she walked into an antique store and they kept her.

Your mom is so dumb, she called me asking for my phone #.

Why can't orphans call their friends?

Because they don't have a home phone!

I love you, my new phone! 📲

I dropped my phone, but it’s on airplane mode.

Redmi