Phone Jokes

You want to hear a dirty joke?

This guy and this girl were having sex when the guys boss called to ask why he wasn't at work. The guy responds, "I'm sick" His boss replies, "you don't sound sick" The guy says, "I'm fucking my sister" and hangs up the phone

Women: Can I have your number?

Jesus: No..

Women: Why? Are you scared?

Jesus: No. Just when you wanna talk, just pray.

Imagen when you are about to cry at the funeral then your friends phones rings Then he says "I'll call you back I'm still at the die"

how many apps did he download ... well he did run out of storage

*sans*:why was the skeleton depressed? because frisk keeps reseting and it resets when he lost his phone

It may be weird to let people smell your hair, but grab the phone as soon as the dwarf says your hair smells nice.

What time is it when you can drive home from phone

There was a man he came home with his friends from the bar and man; was he ever wasted. Their friends made sure to get him home safely the next morning he woke up and found blood all over his night stand he called his friends and asked for his alarm clock back.

What is an orphans hated movie line? E.T phone home

What is wrong with orphans phones?

They'll never have a home screen.

Me: *Calls friend* "Dude I just fell off a 50 foot ladder!" Friend: "Bro, you ok?!" Me: "Yeah, lucky I only fell off the first step!"

What type of phone do orphans have

Android because they dont have a home botton

Good day tomorrow and what day are they still good today good time love 💕 day a great 👍 night time and

a boy walks into some woods with a phone and his friend comes by and asks what are you doing? the pauses then says trying some bird calls!

When phone ringing Dad says ‘If it’s for me don’t answer it.’

God: ok so I created adults. And I created how they are supposed to look like from being born to preteen. Satan:(slides in) I’ll take over for you pops. God: I dunno....this is very delicate work. Just one wrong thing can ruin the system. Satan: don’t worry your beard off! (Pats his back) I’ll just do the ages from 12 to 18! God: Hmm...I’m still not-(Gets a call on his phone) shoot I got to take this. (Answers call) don’t touch anything Lucifer! (Walks away) Satan:.......(just touches lightly and alarms start blaring. He squeaks and runs away) God:(rushes in) WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO?!?! God:(tries fixing problems. Only gets alarms off) fuck me........ God:....(sighs) fine it’ll stay. We’ll just call it....puberty