Philosophy jokes
What did a bee who was interested in philosophy say?
"To bee or not to bee."
Dark humor is like water. It exists.
I’m rather relaxed about death.
From quite an early age, I’ve regarded it as part of the deal, the unwritten guarantee that comes with your birth certificate.
A: Who can tell me a joke?
B: Life.
Why is death taken so lightly? It's terrible how people use it! (This is NOT a joke!)
Premise 1: IF God exists, he exists.
Premise 2: If God exists, he exists.
Premise 3: IF God exists, he definitely exists.
Conclusion: Therefore he exists.
I asked my friend, "Shouldn't we have 6 senses?"
He replied, "What is the 6th sense?"
"Common sense," I shot back while looking at the kid who was going to detention. "Never mind," I said.
My friend: Hey, why are you always smiling?
Me: 'Cause life is a joke and we’re all slacking it off.
"You can drink drinks, but you can't food foods."
-Sun Tzu, The Art Of Food
"Buy a man an airplane ticket, he will fly once. Throw a man off an airplane and he will fly for the rest of his life."
- Sun Tzu
Violence isn't the answer. It's the question, and the answer is yes.
We forge the chains we wear in life.
Why is death taken so lightly?
Because you can take it so quickly.
I exist.
In fright, I saw my faceless soul! Never imagined it could run that fast!
So what is the difference between a real doctor and a doctor of philosophy?
One cures the sick and the other makes them sick!
What does a Chinese guy say to the love of his life?
"You're the ying to my yang!"
Free will is like having a vagina. You don't need to know how to use it, and you don't need to know what it does, but what matters is that you have it.
My father always used to say:
"What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger."
Until the accident.
Get confused with Confucius!