Personal jokes
What does a white person say when they're surrounded by black guys? "Hey, who turned the lights out?!"
Normally the reason you don't get a knife when you ask for one is because the person you asked is emo.
Personally, I think putting beans on toast is better than bullets in children.
What do you call a person who measures air? Airometer.
What was the name of the person who was mean?
The Canabully.
Memes
My two moods are “I can’t believe I get to be a person” and “I can’t believe I have to be a person.”
How does a disabled person play chess?
I think you forgot they don't have legs.
Same old boring ass day, until a person with Parkinson's fainted and got everyone's attention.
He really shook things up today.
I was driving a car and a fat person was crossing the street. When I swerved my car to miss her, I ran out of gas.
This person ( :I ) It wasn't meant to be a joke; it was just to make space like your mother's ass in space because it's so big.
What do you call a disabled person that can walk?
Enabled.
The reason why you have a high pitched voice is because you always sing opera.
Who is this Gwen person?
You know how girls say, "I would have sex with you if you were the last person on earth"? Well, who's gonna stop me?
You: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Random person: Why?
You: To get to the idiot's house!
Random person: What?
You: Knock knock.
Random person: Who's there?
You: The chicken.
Wow, paint can, you have such a colorful personality!
Why did the person get fired from the calendar factory?
Because they took a day off.
"9/11" or just "7-Eleven" to a Mexican person.
Q. What do you call a rich person who is in a vegetative state?
A. A loaded potato.
Symptoms of Schizophrenia
The symptoms of this condition are fairly easy to recognize because they stand out so distinctly from a person’s usual behavior. In order for a diagnosis to be made, the person must suffer from two more of the following for at least one month:
Delusions
Hallucinations