Personal jokes

What’s the difference from me and a gay person? You.

A guy saw a person with a duck and said, "Where did you get a pig?"

The owner replied, "It's not a pig, dummy!"

The random guy said, "I wasn't talking to you, I was talking to the duck."

When a person asked to see her balance at a bank, they pushed him over.

You're so skinny you're a thin stick.

You're so fat that when you got in Pacific Ocean, you became the Pacific Ocean.

You're so ugly you got stuff for free.

You're so nasty that when you eat spaghetti, you thought it was throw up.

You're so fat you're the fattest person on Earth.

You are so gay you kissed the boy last night.

When your friend gets involved with someone, it affects the friendship. Whenever a friend of mine has a new girlfriend, we should say I looked like the person you used to know, but I've been modified to survive in this relationship. If we have an argument and she's there, I might disagree with you; I'd rather continue to see her naked.

Why did the person get fired from the calendar factory?

Because they took a day off.

"9/11" or just "7-Eleven" to a Mexican person.

What is the difference between a fat person and a whole pizza?

Well, a whole pizza cannot eat a fat person.

What do you call a person who tries to get you on a dating website... a Brodie.

Q. What do you call a rich person who is in a vegetative state?

A. A loaded potato.

I was watching The Conjuring with an emo person. She said she likes the part where the girl was hanging. I said, "Why? Because you wish it were you?"

Person: So, Jimmy, what do you do all day?

Jimmy Savile: Anyone who I can do.

POV: A person made you mad, but you're Chinese and they have a cat. "CHING CHONG, CHING CHONG, CHING CHONG, BITCH."

@ Kobe the person under my joke, your hairline is so bad that Kobe Bryant could've lived if he landed the helicopter on your forehead.

What do you call an Indian?

Person in red. Cart a pack of Maltesers.

What does a white person say when they're surrounded by black guys? "Hey, who turned the lights out?!"

Normally the reason you don't get a knife when you ask for one is because the person you asked is emo.

Personally, I think putting beans on toast is better than bullets in children.

What do you call a person who measures air? Airometer.

What was the name of the person who was mean?

The Canabully.