Personal jokes
Another joke, I know they suck.
What is a depressed person's favorite joke? Their life.
If a blind person can’t see, then do they sleep?
They’re the night watchers while people who see sleep.
Ninety percent of your beauty can be removed with a Kleenex.
Oh, were you talking to me? I thought you only talked behind my back.
Hold still, I am trying to imagine you with a personality.
What do you call a transgender person in a wheelchair?
An Autobot.
One day my kid with no arms came up to me and said, "Mom, what's dark humor?" I thought about it, then said, "Go wave to that blind person." He just looked at me, confused, but angry.
When does the slowest person go as fast as a train?
When he is on the train.
Kid singing “abcd.”
Person says, “No, no, it’s obcd.”
I was driving a car and a fat person was crossing the street. When I swerved my car to miss her, I ran out of gas.
Two people are in a restaurant. Person #1 doesn’t order anything, and Person #2 orders a chili.
Person #1: “Aren’t you gonna eat your bowl of chili?”
Person #2: “No, you can have it.”
Person #1: “Ok, thanks...”
Person 1 starts eating his food only to find half of a dead rat! He vomits all of the food back into the bowl.
Person #2: “That’s about as far as I got too!”
Here are some skeleton jokes.
You know the average person tries too hard and works himself to the bone.
If that joke didn't tickle your funny bone, I can give you a real humorous joke.
I used to play the trumpet, now I play the xylo-bone.
I'm always happy; nothing gets under my skin.
I made you some turkey for lunch. Bone appetit!
I'm glad I had you; I'm no longer bonely.
I've got a skele-ton of more jokes, but I'm just giving you one more.
Did you hear about the skeleton ninja? He was very skullful (skillful)!
What do you call a person on fire in a wheelchair?
Hot wheels!
Why do you never see a gay person in a wheelchair?
Because once you're a fruit, you can't be a vegetable.
How does a blind person wipe their ass?
With braille toilet paper.
What does a white person say when they're surrounded by black guys? "Hey, who turned the lights out?!"
How did the fat person cross the road?
It rolled.
If a fat person were to go on a flying car, it will just be at the ground. When they exit, it will just fly up.
What’s the difference between a living and dead person? I don’t know, I just bury the coffin.
What do a blind person and an orphan have in common?
They both cannot see their family.
Somebody told me that black slang is just white slang in reverse. For example:
White person: Dad, you're home!
Black person: Dad?
White person: You can keep the change.
Black person: Empty the register.
Why can’t you high five a Japanese person?
Because Logan Paul left him hanging.