Personal jokes
What's Christian and holey?
JFK.
What does the EPA issue when a person stinks up a room with their smelly farts?
Air quality alert code brown!
Why did Justin Bieber start playing hide and seek with his fans?
Because they keepped.
Random person: "What's one thing your ex gave you that you can't get rid of?"
Man: *Shows a picture of his child.*
August 2020: LeafyIsHere gets terminated on Youtube for harassing Pokimane.
Billy, a toxic kid in Leafy's fanbase: "Imane's life is a joke, that's why I call her Jokeimane."
A person who simps for Pokimane: "And you look like you came from a farm, Hillbilly."
What's a suicidal person's favorite drink?
The depressay expressay.
Just kidding, bleach!
P = Person (not original "pun")
P1: Hey girl! P2: I got a bf! P1: Well, I got a Lamborghini Aventador, a Bugatti Super Sports, a yacht, and a private plane. P2: BF stand for breakfast. P2: Oh, and also, where did you get all that stuff? P1: GTA5 P2: You motherfucker!!!
(Communications with this person are now blocked)
"The rise of atheism is going to lead to a break down of social morals and lead to all kinds of filth, including an increase in child abuse," said the village priest.
The village scientists did some fact checking. In prison, they found roughly 70% of child abusers were hyper religious before committing the crimes, and another 20% converted to religions to look 'remorseful'. The remaining 10% preferred not to say. They presented the findings to the media.
"Scientists slander good religious folk and ignore the weight of evidence!"
"Is Science biased against religion? You decide in this survey," they reported.
The village priest is living at his majesty's convenience and tells the others he committed armed robbery.
"Why is this a joke? It's not even funny!" said the person reading this, breaking the forth wall.
What is funny is you got to the end of this post and didn't cringe. Why not?
What do you call a person with nobody and no nose?
What do you call a white person having a seizure?
A saltshaker.
Teacher: Okay class, look at the person to the right of you and describe them with one word.
Me: *looks to the right of me and sees the pick-me girl* "Penny."
Teacher: *shocked* How is she a penny?
Me: 'Cause she's two-faced, flat, and always in someone's pants. Not to mention worth practically nothing.
What do you call a white person having a seizure?
A vanilla shake.
Is it just me or is your personality fake as well? Can't tell because everything about you is.
Why can't there be a gay disabled person?
Because a fruit can't be the same as a vegetable.
If you're a cat person, never let hungry Chinese into your house. They might just have a snack.
What do Nemo and Emily's dad have in common? They both can't be found.
A hand job from a deaf person counts as oral.
Yo mama so fat, when she made a joke, only one person laughed at it: the pavement. It was absolutely cracking up!
What do you say if you want to borrow your black sister's foundation? "Got any lighter shades?"
Yah, hurtful towards you. Bro took it personally, literally.