Personal jokes

Why did I trip over your foot?

Because you were so short I couldn’t see you!

What's the difference between a blind person and an orphan?

They both can't see their parents.

When a military person dies, we shoot all night. When a drunkard dies, we drink all night. When a Christian dies, we pray all night. What if a prostitute dies? What should we do? Please tell me.

True fact: Five out of six people think Russian roulette is safe.

(Russian roulette is a game where you put 1 bullet in a pistol that has 6 chambers; each person spins it and tries not to land on the bullet to find out if you got the bullet or not. You point the gun at yourself and pull the trigger.)

A conman, a mentally handicapped person, and a Russian spy walk into a bar.

And the bartender asks, "What will it be, Mr. President?"

Surveys say that 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea. That means the 5th one likes it.

Two people are in a restaurant. Person #1 doesn’t order anything, and Person #2 orders a chili.

Person #1: “Aren’t you gonna eat your bowl of chili?”

Person #2: “No, you can have it.”

Person #1: “Ok, thanks...”

Person 1 starts eating his food only to find half of a dead rat! He vomits all of the food back into the bowl.

Person #2: “That’s about as far as I got too!”

What do you say to an upset Down syndrome person? "What's bringing you down?"

What do you call a person on fire in a wheelchair?

Hot wheels!

What do a blind person and an orphan have in common?

They both cannot see their family.

What’s the difference between an Indian and Jewish person?

An Indian person is burnt after death.

What's the similarities between Spiderman and a homeless person?

They both have no way home!

Why did the depressed person rob a bank? Because you're not killing yourself if a cop does it for you!

What do you call an autistic person with a driver's license?

A LETHAL WEAPON!

I am disabled and I find these jokes appropriately hilarious.