Personal

Personal Jokes

My two moods are “I can’t believe I get to be a person” and “I can’t believe I have to be a person.”

Why did the depressed person rob a bank? Because you're not killing yourself if a cop does it for you!

How does a disabled person play chess?

I think you forgot they don't have legs.

What are the subtitles when a disabled person speaks in a movie?

nsjajahdahwggwdgdvtwqfdvgcqgvhheydgdygsydgdfydwfwdgsqgsgyd

I was the person that flew into the Twin Towers. I have two friends that are both twins, and whenever they speak, I tell them to shut up because if they don't, I'll make myself explode in them.

Ya make 10 paintings, you aren't an artist.

Ya make 20 meals, you aren't a chef.

But when I kill ONE PERSON, I'm a "horrible person" and a "menace to society."

I was driving a car and a fat person was crossing the street. When I swerved my car to miss her, I ran out of gas.

True fact: Five out of six people think Russian roulette is safe.

(Russian roulette is a game where you put 1 bullet in a pistol that has 6 chambers; each person spins it and tries not to land on the bullet to find out if you got the bullet or not. You point the gun at yourself and pull the trigger.)