Personal

Personal jokes

A man was walking home but felt tired, so took a short cut through the cemetery. He then heard a tap, tap, then out of the corner of his eye, he saw a man with a hammer hitting the tombstone. The man said, "You scared me. I thought you were a ghost." The other person mumbled, "They spelled my name wrong."

Same old boring ass day, until a person with Parkinson's fainted and got everyone's attention.

He really shook things up today.

What's the quickest way to get to the hospital? Just stand in the middle of a busy road.

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

What do my dad and Nemo have in common? They both can't be found.

What do you do after raping a deaf person? Cut their fingers off so they don't tell anyone.

MORE JOKES COMING SOON LMAO ;]

What's one of the worst motivational things to say to a suicidal person?

“Hang in there!”

What did God say to the black person?

"Oops, I burned one."😳

Not racist, just funny.

What do you call a depressed person holding a knife?

Freedom yay! (so funny ikr)

If a person kills their counselor, does that mean that they don't need therapy anymore?

What's the worst thing to happen to a Japanese person in WW2... being drafted as a kamikaze pilot, or existing with a Fat Man or Little Boy?

So who did it? the I.S.S. teacher said.

1 hour before:

So let me get...

Random person: Wait, what? You BROKE UP WITH HER!

Me: I SWEAR, JHONNY, THIS IS THE 3RD TIME YOU BUTT INTO MY CONVERSATION! SO... HERE... YOU... GO! *punches*

The last words from a depressive person are: "I finally see a train!"

What's the difference between a Black person and a White person? Nothing, are you racist?

Person 1: Goodness, when is Michael Jackson going to stop eating these white chocolate truffles? He is already making a goddamn mess on his bed eating a few of them.

Person 2: Well, he cannot resist the little white balls.