What do you call a booty that can do magic?
A butt trick!
What do you call a midget stripper?
A pocket pussy.
What did the rapper name his new DOG?
Lil Bark.
What sound does a nut make when it comes alive?
Christmas!
How do rappers greet each other?
With a "Mic check, one-two."
John Wilkes Booth, to his fiancee: I have an important role to play tonight at Ford's Theater." Fiancee:Break a leg
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Yo mama is so ugly that if she went on stage, the show would instantly say, "And that's a wrap!"
A magician walks up to a girl and asks her to feel the rabbit in the magician's hat. The magician asks the girl to rub the rabbit. The girl notices the rabbit sticks up and drools the hat was covering the hips
*walks into a comedy night club* Owner: You're doing standup tonight right?* Noob Joker (you): *Yes I am!* Owner: Get onto the stage Me: *walks up stage* Owner: this is the standup comedian noobpro Me: HEY GUYS HOW ABOUT SOME DONALD TRUMP Crowd: *RUNS*
Why did the rapper bring a clock to the concert?
Because he wanted to spit BARS on time
If someone made a comedy routine about Terri Schiavo, would that be considered roasting a vegetable?
Why did the rapper wear a watch to the studio?
Because it was all about the TIMING.
What did the mic say to the rapper?
"Don’t DROP me, bro!"
What do you call a rapper with bad credit?
Lil Borrow.
What instrument do skeletons play?
The Trombone!
What did the beat say to the rapper?
"You're off rhythm, but I'll give you a hand!"
How do rappers greet each other?
With a HIGH FIVE and a MIC DROP
Why did the rapper go to school?
To master the art of RAP-LETICS!
Why did the alien go to the rap battle?
Because he had some UNEARTHLY rhymes!
