Performance jokes
*walks into a comedy night club* Owner: "You're doing standup tonight, right?" Noob Joker (you): "Yes, I am!" Owner: "Get onto the stage." Me: *walks up stage* Owner: "This is the standup comedian noobpro." Me: "Hey guys, how about some Donald Trump?" Crowd: *RUNS*
What a magic trick, it's so bad!
Too bad, chick.
What did the magician do as a trick in his show?
Make your doubts about magic... DISAPPEAR!
What goes up but never goes down?
My grades.
(I wish)
Why did the actor fall through the floorboards?
They were going through a stage!
John Wilkes Booth, to his fiancee: "I have an important role to play tonight at Ford's Theater."
Fiancee: "Break a leg!"
Hey y'all, you want to read something funny? Then look up "Greater Tuna" OID and read the script. It's the best. I'm performing it for an OID (Oral Interpretation of Drama) and it kicks ass. Check it out. Also, the name I'm using is my Roblox Username. Friend me.
What happens when the music note starts to misbehave?
Then he gets into treble!
Yo mama is so ugly that if she went on stage, the show would instantly say, "And that's a wrap!"
Why did the rapper bring a clock to the concert?
Because he wanted to spit BARS on time.
What instrument do skeletons play?
The Trombone!
Why did the rapper wear a watch to the studio?
Because it was all about the TIMING.
What did the mic say to the rapper?
"Don’t DROP me, bro!"
What do you call a rapper with bad credit?
Lil Borrow.
I'm a magician. Watch my closing act at the end of the rope.
Why was the rapper always on time?
Because they had mad flow!
What do you call a rapper who's also a magician?
A LYRICAL ILLUSIONIST
How do rappers greet each other?
With a high five and a mic drop!
What did the rapper say to the microphone?
"You're my closet confidant!"
What did the rapper say when he broke his mic?
"Looks like I dropped the mic... literally!"