Performance jokes
What goes up but never goes down?
My grades.
(I wish)
I got fired for not doing enough work.
Guess I didn’t put enough backbone into it.
*walks into a comedy night club* Owner: "You're doing standup tonight, right?" Noob Joker (you): "Yes, I am!" Owner: "Get onto the stage." Me: *walks up stage* Owner: "This is the standup comedian noobpro." Me: "Hey guys, how about some Donald Trump?" Crowd: *RUNS*
What a magic trick, it's so bad!
Too bad, chick.
What did the magician do as a trick in his show?
Make your doubts about magic... DISAPPEAR!
Drums at Performance
John Wilkes Booth, to his fiancee: "I have an important role to play tonight at Ford's Theater."
Fiancee: "Break a leg!"
Hey y'all, you want to read something funny? Then look up "Greater Tuna" OID and read the script. It's the best. I'm performing it for an OID (Oral Interpretation of Drama) and it kicks ass. Check it out. Also, the name I'm using is my Roblox Username. Friend me.
What happens when the music note starts to misbehave?
Then he gets into treble!
Why did the alien go to the rap battle?
Because he had some UNEARTHLY rhymes!
Why did the rapper become a magician?
Because he wanted to drop some ILL-USIONS.
Yo mama is so ugly that if she went on stage, the show would instantly say, "And that's a wrap!"
I'm a magician. Watch my closing act at the end of the rope.
A magician walks up to a girl and asks her to feel the rabbit in the magician's hat.
The magician asks the girl to rub the rabbit. The girl notices the rabbit sticks up and drools; the hat was covering the hips.
Why did the rapper wear a watch to the studio?
Because it was all about the TIMING.
Why did the rapper go to school?
To drop some KNOWLEDGEABLE RHYMES!
What's a rapper's favorite type of CANDY?
Mic Drops.
What instrument do skeletons play?
The Trombone!
What did the mic say to the rapper?
"Don’t DROP me, bro!"
What do you call a rapper with bad credit?
Lil Borrow.
What did the rapper say to the microphone?
"You're my closet confidant!"