Performance jokes
What do you call a rapper who's also a magician?
MC Illusion.
Derrick and Clive. They have a song about a Dad with cancer and other extremely offensive subjects in a routine called "The Non-Stop Dancer." It is very funny, but it is made even funnier by Dudley Moore's drunken and stoned laughter through the song.
One of the best routines ever. Look it up on YouTube. They recorded them in the studio, but they are ad-libbing and extremely drunk.
My little brother is scared of ghosts so I won't let him watch Bayern today.
Okay, I may be strict, but I won't let Tapindowski give my son a heart attack. His shocking ghosting performance today is a danger to my family and I'll ask UEFA to investigate the matter.
Why did the rapper go to school?
To improve his FLOW-CULUS.
Why did Michael Jackson cross the road?
To get to the opera.
What is the one thing cripples can't do? ... Stand-up comedy.
What’s a rapper’s favorite type of SHOE?
Ad-lib-idas.
What happens when the music note starts to misbehave?
Then he gets into treble!
Why did the rapper always carry a pencil?
In case he had to draw a crowd.
Why is the older brother's kid brother that has autism always performing fellatio on his older brother?
Because he wants to find out how many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop.
Why did the dog join the marching band?
Because he had his trum-bone.
I played piano at a Worthmore disabled elderly center. Then after I was done, I said, "How about you give me a standing ovation?"
I regret it to this day. Now I am forced to live here at Worthmore, and sit on my wheelchair, sad and lonely.
He wasn't that bad.
Why did the rapper bring a ladder to the studio?
Because he wanted to drop higher bars!
Why did the rapper go to the beach?
To drop some QUICKSAND BARS.
I got fired for not doing enough work.
Guess I didn’t put enough backbone into it.
What do you call a magician with no magic? A dyslexic c**t.
Whenever the hungry cannibal performs amputations, he says,
"Thank you for your donation!"
Why don’t rappers play hide and seek?
Because good rappers always stand out!
Why did the rapper wear a watch to the studio?
Because it was all about the TIMING.