Performance jokes
I'm a magician. Watch my closing act at the end of the rope.
What goes up but never goes down?
My grades.
(I wish)
Why did the actor fall through the floorboards?
They were going through a stage!
What a magic trick, it's so bad!
Too bad, chick.
What did the magician do as a trick in his show?
Make your doubts about magic... DISAPPEAR!
Memes
Drums at Performance
*walks into a comedy night club* Owner: "You're doing standup tonight, right?" Noob Joker (you): "Yes, I am!" Owner: "Get onto the stage." Me: *walks up stage* Owner: "This is the standup comedian noobpro." Me: "Hey guys, how about some Donald Trump?" Crowd: *RUNS*
I got fired for not doing enough work.
Guess I didn’t put enough backbone into it.
John Wilkes Booth, to his fiancee: "I have an important role to play tonight at Ford's Theater."
Fiancee: "Break a leg!"
Hey y'all, you want to read something funny? Then look up "Greater Tuna" OID and read the script. It's the best. I'm performing it for an OID (Oral Interpretation of Drama) and it kicks ass. Check it out. Also, the name I'm using is my Roblox Username. Friend me.
What happens when the music note starts to misbehave?
Then he gets into treble!
A magician walks up to a girl and asks her to feel the rabbit in the magician's hat.
The magician asks the girl to rub the rabbit. The girl notices the rabbit sticks up and drools; the hat was covering the hips.
What instrument do skeletons play?
The Trombone!
Why did the rapper wear a watch to the studio?
Because it was all about the TIMING.
Why was the rapper always so confident?
Because he had a lot of rhyme and reason!
What did the beat say to the rapper?
"You're off rhythm, but I'll give you a hand!"
What's a rapper's favorite instrument?
The MIC-DROPHONE!
What did the rapper say to the microphone?
"You're my closet confidant!"
Why did the rapper go to school?
To master the art of RAP-LETICS!
Why did the rapper take a shower before the concert?
To WASH AWAY the haters!
What did the rapper say when he broke his mic?
"Looks like I dropped the mic... literally!"