Perception jokes
When you ask your friend if he thinks lunch is good, but he says that he doesn't taste anything.
Purple.
Your mom: Your plate is full, that's enough food on your plate.
Me: My plate is not full, I still see the white of the plate.
You're so skinny that your mom had to use a whole shampoo bottle on your head, but she still couldn’t find you.
At the funeral of a family friend, I was chatting to June, an elderly lady I hadn’t seen since I was a teenager. I was thrilled when she told me what a beautiful young woman I’d become. On the journey home, I remarked to my mother how lovely it had been to see June again. “Yes, it’s such a shame that she’s gone blind,” she said sadly.
What's the best thing about dating a blind chick?
She can't identify you.
I have a heart, alright. I just happen to see a mere hollow shell of one coming from you.
Is it just me, or is it normal to you when people scream?
Jamal: Dads CAN grow on trees, Joseph.
Joseph: No, they don't.
Jamal: Yes, they do. I've seen it.
Joseph: ... that's not what you thought it was.
Dark jokes are just like water.
Not everybody gets it.
What do you call staring stares?
Stares.
I'm upset, but when I saw you, you never let me down.
What did Stevie Wonder see when he got murdered?
Nothing.
Yes, I'm CUTE.
C-ringe U-gly T-errible E-mpty.
You're so ugly that if you looked in the mirror, you would walk into the light.
You're so skinny that people can't even see you.
What did the elephant say to the naked man?
"How do you breathe through something so small?"
You can't see me, but when I smile, you can.
Why do blind kids like plane crashes?
Because you can’t dislike what you have never seen.
How does Helen Keller smell?
Pretty bad, she's dead!