Perception jokes

The more they smile, the less they see.

"Come on, take the camera!"

"Isn't it clear?"

"Well, look!"

I have a heart, alright. I just happen to see a mere hollow shell of one coming from you.

I don't ignore dwarfs, I just overlook them.

My kid runs in today to tell me that he found a floating cow, but when he got me to come and see, all I saw was a piñata with a tail and white spots. Such a stupid child. So after that I gave him a nice refreshing drink from the toilet and a few of those chocolate sprinkles. (: I'm such a good parent...

Lesbians and blind women wear the same clothes.

I have 3 eyes, 2 ears, and 6 mouths, what am I?

UGLY!

A girl had black hair. Also, I threw rubbish at her to realize she wasn't a bin.

Your forehead is so big that I can’t even see your hairline, and your stupid forehead face.

What makes Asians look like they're laughing at everyone? They're squinting before they hear the joke.

What makes you guys high?

I get high when I have a dead fish in my lunchbox.

Me: Mom, I think I need to go to the hospital.

Mom: OMG, why son?

Me: I don't know what's wrong, but every time I close my eyes, I can see.

Think about it, then spread LMAO.

Yo mama so stupid that when the mirror cracked, she tried to order another one.

I always felt like a man trapped in a woman's body. But then I was born.

But in my defense, I was young then, and I had a womb without a view.

Here’s a joke, go look in a mirror.

Inside a room full of squares, buckets, and tints, there are two inspectors. One is called Mr. Right, the other one is called Mr. Wrong. Because of their names, the first one is trusted more than the second one.

Mr. Wrong eventually got tired of that and worked on a plan for how more people could trust him. He took a jigsaw and he started to cut into his brain and sawed away half of his brain. It was still working.

Then he took a loaf of toast, cut it into half and glued it on his head, and then he made a strawberry cream and sprayed it on the toast. Because people couldn't recognize him as "Mr. Wrong," he was able to solve more cases.

If you want a joke, look at yourself in the mirror!

Roses are black, violets are black.

I’m colorblind.

My girlfriend asked me to tell a joke. I told her to look in the mirror.

We never met again.

A blind man is going for a walk. Eventually, he reaches a fish market.

He yells, "Hello ladies!"