Perception jokes

I would make a joke about short people, but they probably couldn't hear it.

What does the dumb kid say to the blind kid?

"Long time no see!"

He’s so short no one can see you very close by.

Why do blind kids like plane crashes?

Because you can’t dislike what you have never seen.

My kid runs in today to tell me that he found a floating cow, but when he got me to come and see, all I saw was a piñata with a tail and white spots. Such a stupid child. So after that I gave him a nice refreshing drink from the toilet and a few of those chocolate sprinkles. (: I'm such a good parent...

Lesbians and blind women wear the same clothes.

I have 3 eyes, 2 ears, and 6 mouths, what am I?

UGLY!

A girl had black hair. Also, I threw rubbish at her to realize she wasn't a bin.

"It's a purple face!" says Yellow Face.

"Oh! Racist!" says Purple Face.

What makes you guys high?

I get high when I have a dead fish in my lunchbox.

Your forehead is so big that I can’t even see your hairline, and your stupid forehead face.

Me: Mom, I think I need to go to the hospital.

Mom: OMG, why son?

Me: I don't know what's wrong, but every time I close my eyes, I can see.

Think about it, then spread LMAO.

Yo mama so stupid that when the mirror cracked, she tried to order another one.

What makes Asians look like they're laughing at everyone? They're squinting before they hear the joke.

Here’s a joke, go look in a mirror.

I always felt like a man trapped in a woman's body. But then I was born.

But in my defense, I was young then, and I had a womb without a view.

Inside a room full of squares, buckets, and tints, there are two inspectors. One is called Mr. Right, the other one is called Mr. Wrong. Because of their names, the first one is trusted more than the second one.

Mr. Wrong eventually got tired of that and worked on a plan for how more people could trust him. He took a jigsaw and he started to cut into his brain and sawed away half of his brain. It was still working.

Then he took a loaf of toast, cut it into half and glued it on his head, and then he made a strawberry cream and sprayed it on the toast. Because people couldn't recognize him as "Mr. Wrong," he was able to solve more cases.

If you want a joke, look at yourself in the mirror!

My girlfriend asked me to tell a joke. I told her to look in the mirror.

We never met again.

Roses are black, violets are black.

I’m colorblind.